Untold Tale of Cedward Calligory & Bella Potter
by New Order
Summary: the Cullen family adopts Harry Potter’s long-lost, orphaned younger sister, Bella. She seeks out Harry's new family so she can meet her family, not forgetting the super cute godson of Harry's, Jacob. By cotpink and verycrazytwilighter and Darlin24.
1. Family Ties

Chapter One: Family Ties

BellaPOV

"Cedward! We're leaving in two minutes! And if you're not down here, Rosalie is leaving without you! And then you'll be late! AGAIN!" I shouted at my adoptive brother. I mean, I was adopted too, but him too. Our family story is kinda crazy with a dash of messed up. We all legally live in the Cullen house but none of our last names are Cullen so we technically don't have to call our adoptive parents 'mom and dad', but Alice, one of my sisters, does sometimes.

My adopted brother Cedward (the one I was just yelling at) is actually pretty cute. But we live in the same house so it's kind of forbidden. For us to ever be together, I mean.

I just hope he doesn't find a girlfriend. Because if she ever came to our house I'd probably kill her in some intricate way, probably involving poison, dinner, and perhaps a dog or two.

Rosalie and Emmett are married. The Cullens adopted Rosalie, and then Emmett moved in with them and married Rosalie; Esme told me. The Cullens are filthy rich, everyone knows that, and they paid for this big expensive wedding. Emmett and Rosalie are both eighteen, so it's all legal.

Truthfully, I'm pretty lucky to have been adopted by the Cullens. I don't have an allowance, but if I were to walk up to Esme and ask for five thousand dollars for a shopping spree, she'd ask why I didn't need more than that, then give me another couple thousand after the first five.

Cedward came rushing down the stairs and straight into me. He almost knocked me down in his hurry to get to the door. He grabbed my arm and steadied me.

"Whoa, sorry, Bella… I thought you'd be outside, you know, because you called me and so I thought you'd be outside with Rosalie, so you wouldn't be late and wouldn't be here standing in front of me so I could-" he rambled. I pressed my index finger to his pale salmon colored lips, raising my eyebrows. "Shut up and get in the car!" I said to him impatiently, tapping my foot.

He gasped and involuntarily opened his mouth as if to bite my finger. I jerked it away. His mouth was still agape revealing two rows of perfectly straight, bleach white teeth. I gasped, quickly collected myself, and went outside, Cedward following.

We climbed into Rosalie's car. She was at the wheel, revving her red convertible haughtily. "Sorry, Rose," Cedward murmured, not bothering to buckle his seatbelt. I buckled mine, having ridden in a car that was controlled by an angry Rosalie before. Jasper and Alice were gone in Alice's Porsche, not wanting to have to wait for slowpoke Cedward.

"We're so late, we might as well skip," said Emmett from the front passenger seat. "Emmett. School starts in thirty minutes." Cedward told him as if talking to a stupid person. He was.

We were at school in fifteen minutes, which was, considering the circumstances, pretty early. But then again, it was Rosalie driving, and we would get to school in two minutes if she really wanted to show off her BMW.

I got out of the car with Cedward, and I felt pretty smug that about fifty girls looked at me evilly when they saw me with such a gorge – erm, my brother.

I had only been at the school for three weeks, and it was pretty weird. Everybody wanted to know about my brothers, Emmett and Jasper, but especially Cedward.

Like they did right now.

Jessica Stanley wriggled up to me, batting her eyelashes at Cedward. I stuck my foot out, hoping that she'd move near it and trip, but I took it away when it was Cedward that was in danger of tripping.

He was actually very graceful, I noticed reluctantly. I noticed it before, but now I just had to accept the fact that he had an acute sense of balance, and I didn't. Sometimes it was almost as if he would mess up on purpose a few times to make himself seem more clumsy.

Cedward walked me to class. "Bye, Bella," he said outside English Lit. "Bye," I said.

"Hey," he said. "Yeah?" I answered. Why did I always answer with a question? "Watch out for Mike Newton," he said before sauntering away in graceful strides. I stared after him before shaking my head to get the Wrackspurts out. I went into my classroom.

The lesson was very boring. I sat there for a whole hour biting my fingernails. Alice would be disappointed. She had worked for hours on the perfect manicure for me, better than any nail salon could do. Sheesh. I bit my fingernails anyway.

After class, Mike Newton, of all people, came up and sat on my desk. I shivered involuntarily. He was creepy... and too weird. I mean, he _sat_ on my _desk_! Creeper…

"So," he said, a pimple right in my face, "Will you go to the dance with me?" "No," I said, getting up, my voice shaky and terrified. I was not used to being talked to by anyone but the Cullens, really.

His face looked hurt and he started to try to say, "Are you going with someone el - " but Cedward walked into the classroom and cut Mike's word in half. My face brightened.

"Any trouble here, Bells?" he asked. "Um... let's go, Cedward," I said. He could tell I was freaked out and grabbed my hand. "Come on, Bella," he said, tugging me away from the perpetrator. I was thisclose to a heart attack.

The day was soooo boring. I had no homework, so I'd have plenty of time to play chess with Cedward. I looked forward to it.

Rosalie had cooled down at school, but only a fraction. Emmett sat beside her, flying through his homework. "Why are you doing your homework in the car?" I asked innocently.

"Because he has important things to do at home, that's why," Rosalie snarled, slamming her foot down on the pedal. Cedward patted my shoulder. "It's okay, Bella," he said lowly. Rosalie snarled again. "I didn't know Emmett was smart enough to be capable of homework," I whispered in Cedward's ear, so no one else could hear. He chuckled.


	2. The Letter

Chapter Two: The Letter

BellaPOV (still)

When we got home, Esme was cooking what smelled like a delicious Italian dinner. I said hello to her as Cedward and I walked to the chess table in the parlor.

"Hi, Bella!" she said cheerfully. "I have mail for you," she added, picking up an envelope from the marble counter and prodding it toward me. "Thanks," I said, ripping it open.

_Dear Bella Potter_... it read...

_I am your brother, Harry Potter. Our parents were Lily and James Potter, and they lived in England. I just found out that you are my sister and that you were at an American orphanage until now. I live near London, England in our parents' old house that we partially rebuilt with my wife, children and godson. _

_My wife's name is Ginny, and I met her while we were in school. She is also my best friend's sister. I have three children, James, Albus, and the baby my wife is carrying, Lily. James and Lily are named after our parents, and Albus is named after my favorite headmaster at my school who was like a father to me. My youngest son, Albus, is two years old and James is three. My godson, Jacob, is in my care after his parents' death. Jacob is about your age; he's eighteen too. I'd like you to meet him._

_My family would love for you to come to visit us over the Christmas holidays. You'll have to check with your guardians, of course. If you are unable to procure the Muggle plane tickets, contact me by postage. We'll come to retrieve you, that is, if you'd like to come and you have permission._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Harry Potter_

My mouth hung open. I had a brother! A sister-in-law! Nephews and a sooner-than-later niece! And a godbrother?

I heard a gasp as I quickly turned around. There was Cedward with his mouth hung open gaping at me.

"HE's your BROTHER?!", he exclaimed. I was surprised. I didn't know that Cedward would react this way.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Um. Nothing, nothing at all. Uh, yeah… just... er, coming, Esme!" he shouted and ran off toward his room. "But Esme's in the kit-" I shouted to him, but he was already out of earshot. Wow, who knew he could run that fast? Oh, whatever. Something's wrong with that boy.

I wandered into the kitchen to show Esme my letter. She was grating Romano cheese. The strong, acidic yet very delicious smell wafted up to me. "Hey," I said to her. Esme smiled up at me and set down the block of cheese. "Yes?" she asked.

I wanted everyone to know that I had family. "I... have a brother," I admitted, barely concealing the grin on my face. "He wants me to visit him in London," I added. Esme smiled happily. "That's great!" Her happiness was genuine, I noticed.

"So..." I added uneasily, "Can I go?" "Of course!" Esme said. I had the feeling if I asked her for a million dollars she'd say yes. (I didn't doubt she had an extra million lying around somewhere. I might need to test that theory in the near future.)

"We'll see who wants to go with you to London during dinner," she offered. "Okay," I agreed.

I walked up the stairs leading to the third floor, where my room and Cedward's rooms were. His door was slightly ajar... I peeked in. Cedward was on his black couch (no bed) with his laptop, typing away.

"Cedward," I said, coming in. "Hey, uh... what'cha doing?" He tried to shield his laptop without me knowing he was shielding it, but he didn't do too well. I took the laptop from him. He didn't protest.

100 Great Hunting Spots in London!!!

_The Panerly Terrace Woods are a favorite amongst hunters of Britain. It has a large array of bears, mountain goats, mountain lions and deer. A fee of 5 Euros will be charged to ent - _

the headline of the blabby website read. "You hunt?" I asked, surprised. "I only go once every two we - Months! Every two months, once," he lied. I could tell he was lying. "Weird. Oh, I guess that's where you, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle go when you guys are missing, right?" He really was missing a lot, and whenever I asked he'd change the subject abruptly. Really.

"I..." he started, but I walked out, tired of lies. But he did smell good. Hmm... A plan began formulating in my head...

"Dinner!" chimed Esme cheerfully from below. Boy, was she loud. I came down the stairs into the second floor, Cedward following behind me. Rosalie ran downstairs and sat at the table with obvious fury. Cedward chuckled from behind her. Emmett walked downstairs behind Cedward and I.

At the table, Esme brought it up my trip to London as she refilled her glass of red wine. Emmett took the bottle and drank straight out of it. "Emmett! You're underage!" I hissed at him, appalled. "Esme! Carlisle!" I stammered. "How can you let him do that?" Esme 'tsk'ed at Emmett. "No more, Emmett," she said. Emmett stood up and looked down at Rosalie. "I shouldn't have drank that... I'm seeing double." Then he went upstairs. Rosalie half-choked.

I ate a lot at dinner, and so did everyone else, though I never saw their forks lift to their mouths, but their plates were clean, so... whatever. I offered to help with the dishes, but Esme said, "No, Bella. You don't have to." When I began to protest, she suggested I do my homework.

"But I have no homework."

"That's okay, Bella. Go play chess with Cedward."

I liked that idea so I went over to the parlor, but Cedward and Alice were already playing chess, though they just were staring at the board. Then Cedward put his knight from the first row all the way to her queen, and Alice shrieked. "Ugh! I should have saw that?" I didn't tell her it was a very illegal move in the game, whatever.

So I went up to my room, and my previous plan came into play...

I slipped into Cedward's room and spotted his jacket draped over a stack of CDs. I took it and tiptoed back into my room. His jacket smelled really good... I fell asleep cradling it like a child holds a stuffed toy. In the morning it was still there, nestled under my head.

Two weeks went by, and they seemed fast because of all of my preparations for the trip. I wrote Harry and his family back:

_Dear Harry and Family:_

_ I would love to come visit! I was very surprised because, as you know, I thought I was an orphan without any surviving family members. So it came as a shock when I was told I had a whole family in London! My whole adoptive family is coming, if you don't mind. It's a large family, so my mother Esme offered for all of them to stay in a hotel. Don't worry about them if they do; my brothers Cedward and Emmett say they wish to go to some animal reserves. _

_ I really am looking forward to going there. _

_ Love,_

_Bella Potter_

I sealed the envelope with a quick lick, and then I stuck a few Liberty Bell stamps on it, then, on second thought, ripped the stamps off for two reasons. First: they were British and I wasn't sure if they'd appreciate something so American. Second: the letter probably had a better chance of getting to London if someone that made fewer daily mistakes than me mailed it. So I gave the letter to Esme.

Esme had bought the plane tickets and we were going to leave in two weeks, a week before Christmas and we would stay in London for four weeks.

We were finished with the semester, and finally we were on winter break. I usually woke up at noon every day, but one day Alice woke me up early. Well, early for me, eight o'clock to be exact.

"Bella, you have to get dressed now. By the way, I packed your suitcases for you!" she chirped. I groaned. "Alice! I wanted to pack my own suitcase! And was that suitcase_s_ I heard, as in plural?" Alice nodded fiercely, a wild and insane smile on her elfin face. I whimpered. "All I ever wanted was a carry-on!"

"Well, too bad, I woke you up in enough time to get ready… but not enough time to unpack and repack your suitcase. Smart, huh?" she beamed at what she thought to be genius-level knowledge.

"Yeah, Alice. Real smart." I griped as I rolled out of my bed, still holding my pillow. Wait, my pillow wasn't leather...I snapped my eyes to my supposed pillow. IT wasn't a pillow at all. It was a jacket. Guess whose jacket it was? Yup. I quickly stashed it under my covers as Alice brought out a long satin garment bag. And proudly displayed it to me.

"Alice, please don't tell me that's some fancy, over-the-top dress you're going to force me into," I whined as I eyed the swinging zippered bag with repulsion.

"It's not _that_ over the top, Esme only allotted me eight hundred dollars," she scoffed as if that were a terrible thing. Not in my mind. But an eight hundred dollar dress was a terrifying thought.

"I don't want it," I said. Alice grimaced. "Fine," she said, feigning caving-in defiance. "You'll see," she threatened.

We departed the house soon afterward, after me helping Cedward put his stereo in a suitcase I let him have that I had been given a long time ago by some company that gave excess stuff to orphans. He was really glad he finally got one, though. I hoped the stereo would fit in the trunk, but it didn't, so we just sat in the back seat and held it across the seat on our laps.

We were on the plane and I was (thankfully) in just jeans and a simple white T-shirt. Alice called me into the tiny bathroom. "Change," she ordered. "No," I answered defiantly. "Oh, come on," she said, holding out a silky pink dress, "You don't want to look like an American slob when you're making a first impression on your _very_ British family." "I don't have any room, Alice," I tried. "We're both standing in here, aren't we? You'll be fine."

Alice slipped out of the cubicle-bathroom and let me get dressed. I emerged wearing a calf-length gown made of coral-colored silk. It had lace accents and skinny straps. It was also a teeny tiny bit see through but I was probably the only one who noticed, being the paranoid freak I was.

Alice met me outside the bathroom and yanked my no-longer-being-worn shirt and pants out of my hands. "Hey!" I protested.

"By the way, this," she said while pointing the WAY too fancy for someone like me dress, "Is your _real_ dress. And what you're wearing right now is a very see-through slip. So unless you want to walk back up to your seat in front of everybody and go and meet your family wearing _that,_ I suggest you go back in there and put this on over that." She quickly skipped away after thrusting the extravagant gown into my hands. I had no choice but to put it on, having no jeans and T-shirt anymore.

I came out of the bathroom, wearing a coral-colored gown. It was ankle-length and had gossamer accents with tiny bead ropes on the bodice. It was pretty uncomfortable, yet very charming and teenage-diva-ish. Ugh. I did _not_ want to look like a princess Hannah Montana. The thought put a bad taste in my mouth.

"There. You look so pretty!" she shrieked, her voice shooting up six octaves and a hundred decibels. "ALICE. You're gonna make me go deaf!" I said in a harsh monotone voice. "Yeah. Me too," Cedward called over from his seat in a steely tone, his lips not moving.

The plane landed three hours later. I drank two Cokes and a pudding that the flight attendant brought me, and Alice made me wear an absolutely ridiculous bib so I wouldn't maim her gorgeous dress I was wearing.

I got off the plane behind Cedward in my gorgeous dress. He led all of us to the gate, where my family stood waiting. We walked to them.

I could tell who my brother was. He had black hair and emerald eyes – they were unlike my brown hair and brown eyes. He wore round glasses and he had a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead, above his left eye. His wife was pretty, with flame-red hair and a pregnant belly, and the oldest boy also had hair like the color of hers. The younger boy looked like an exact replica of Harry, with gorgeous emerald eyes. He was very cute, and Rosalie began talking to him in a sweet and loving tone. I was extremely stupefied at Rosalie's odd behavior.

Then I looked to the left of Harry, and I saw my godbrother, Jacob.

Wow.


	3. Perplexed

Chapter Three: Perplexed

CedPOV

And there he was, Harry Potter. "Hello, Harry," I told him, remembering what a grand time we'd had at Hogwarts with the former me, Cedric Diggory. Even though I had dreamed about killing him for my benefit… but that's another story.

Now would be an excellent time to explain to you how I became Cedward Calligory. When I was human and handsome enough, an evil wizard named Tom Marvolo Riddle killed me. AKA Lord Hackduvy! I was dead as a doornail, but everyone with any knowledge recognizes that if a vampire bites a human killed by the Avada Kedavra curse, they'll become a vampire within only six minutes, which is actually quite preferable alongside the customary three-day transformation. Carlisle told me as I transformed, "Stay completely still and don't do ANYTHING. They're going to bury you but I'll dig you back up." I believed this man for some odd reason. They did bury me, and I was dug back up by Carlisle. He kept his promise. For a while I stalked humans I had known, such as Cho Chang, and it became quite clear she had the hots for Harry, whose little sister is now the grounds for my existence.

I was quite jealous of this Jacob. His thoughts were… out of the ordinary and unwanted, in my eyes. Along with abhorrence I was also infuriated. That. Was. My. Bella. Not his Bella. What in insolent old evil annoying horrid cheeky sordid brainless bloody chap!

And to make matters worse, Bella was looking at _him_. With a look of admiration. And her striking cheeks were reddened with awkwardness for _him_.

I stood there, watching the other humans, trying not to focus on Bella or Jacob.

JacobPOV

I was pretty excited to meet Harry's little sister. He told me what she was like but I didn't know what she looked like, seeing as nobody had a picture. Facebook and MySpace were foreign concepts to her. Dumb Americans.

She stepped of the plane in a long pink dress. I knew who she was from the moment she stepped off. She looked like my godfather in the shape of his face, but her hair and eyes were brown. She was beautiful, like a pink beauty. Why couldn't she have just lived in London in the first place so I could know her earlier?

That's when I fell in love for the first time. So maybe it was puppy love, but it was some pretty strong stuff. I never believed in love at first sight, but now I did. I felt my face reddening with embarrassment; I wasn't used to being in love. So I used my gift that my mother had too, and made my face normal-shaded again. She walked over to us, following her new brother. She searched for us with her eyes, and she found Harry and smiled a happy smile. She came over to us and looked into each of our faces. I wanted to wink at her, but I was too embarrassed. A hot blonde came up and talking to Albie with a cooing, motherly voice. I think she was another of Bella's siblings.

"Hi, I'm Bella," she said with a sweet voice. It was pretty. My godfather smiled. "I'm Harry," he said, and pointed at Ginny – "This is Ginny, my wife," and he pointed at James – "This is James, my eldest son," he pointed at Albus, "This is Albus," and then Ginny's stomach, "Here's Lily, she's the youngest obviously, and then there's Jacob," he said, pointing to me with a sly smile. He was trying to hook me and Bella up! I couldn't complain when her face turned apple-red. She was just more beautiful.

Harry drove us all home that night to our house. I kept looking at Bella, but she looked at the brother that I thought was named Cedward again and again. He kept on looking at her, and when their eyes met, they shared a secret smile. I suddenly felt a rage inside me against this Cedward. Weren't they brother and sister? Or was the adoption fake and a big joke to the Cullens?

Anyway, as soon as we parked in the driveway, I hopped out and opened the trunk. I grabbed two duffel bags (my arms suddenly felt as if they were about to tear, these bags were so heavy), but the blonde girl came up to me and growled. "Give them to me, mutt," she said. Sheesh. What did Albie have that I didn't to make her so sweet to him? I grabbed a bag with Bella's initials on it (BIP, isn't that funny? RIP, BIP… nevermind…) and I took it into the house.

The house is nice. My godfather spent a lot of money on it, but money is an asset we don't have to worry about. He was given a lot of money from the Ministry of Magic after he killed Lord Hackduvy, but for some reason Ginny and him still work. Well, anyway, the house used to be Harry's and Bella's parents' house. Bella's only eight years younger than Harry, but he won't tell me how she came to be that much younger. He's only twenty-five (Ginny is twenty-four) but he hates the topic of age for some reason. Maybe he lied to me about his age and is really nineteen or something. Probably.

Well, anyway, they ameliorated the house. It has a Tudor front, and it's two stories with a wing for me above the garage. Ginny had Harry spend all kinds of money on sinks and marble countertops and a bidet in the bathroom, (though no one ever uses the bidet… though James once drank the water out of it for he thought he was supposed to) and leather furniture. It's a nice house here, and I think the Cullens were impressed when they walked in. "Is this a Wright house?" the wife of the family asked with real interest. I guessed her name from conversations in the car, Esme. Ginny shook her head. "It used to be Harry and Bella's parents' house," she answered.

We had dinner in the oven while we were gone, a huge turkey. Ginny had cast a quick spell on the oven to make the house not burn down while we were gone ("No telling the Cullens we're wizards and witches," she had said, wagging her finger at Albus and James before pinching their cheeks affectionately "Mum! I've got your cooties!", James had complained) and so dinner was done as we set the table.

At dinner, the Cedward bloke just talked with Harry. "So," he said, his food almost gone, though I hadn't seen fork go to mouth yet, "How exactly _did_ your name get in the Goblet of Fire?" he asked Harry. I spewed my pumpkin juice out; how did this guy know about the _Triwizard Tournament_? He was a Muggle, after all! The blonde girl wiped the juice off her perfect chin while casting me a dirty look.

Harry changed the subject hastily. "After Cedric Diggory's death," he began awkwardly, saying the first thing that came to mind. Cedward looked up interestedly. "Cedric Diggory!" he said. "I've heard of _him_! Now, let's talk about poor Cedric…"

I shook my head. This guy must not be a Muggle after all.

After dinner and a boring conversation (with snippets from Ginny about how handsome Cedric was while he was alive to tease Harry), I went to my room above the garage. It's nice, with a tiny kitchen and a bathroom and a comfy bed. I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower, then went into my bedroom – and there was the dumb blonde girl sitting on my bed with a laptop.

"Can you shoo?" I asked her.

"This is my room now, dog," the blonde said. "Alright," I said. So then I morphed my face to look exactly like hers with my special power, and my hair long and blonde, and imitated her. "So I was looking at the pool," I said in a very American accent, "and there was a girl in it, so I jumped in to save her! But I couldn't reach her!" I morphed back to me. "Thus happens when you put a mirror at the bottom of a pool."

The blonde gave me an icicle-glare. "Heard that one from another dog like you," she said.

I left the room quickly when she added, "I had Emmett kill him."


	4. Track Five

Chapter Four: Track Five

BelPOV

It was embarrassing enough to live in the same house with someone you like. It's even more embarrassing to live in house with _two_ guys you like. Cedward and Jacob were mean to each other. I wished they'd stop. I wanted to enjoy the quiet peace of the vacation.

The next night, someone knocked at the door, and I went to go answer it. "Hi," I said as I opened it. A pretty Asian girl stood outside the door, wearing a chic white fur jacket. It was much more practical than the strapless ensemble Alice had packed for me. And the only type of shoes were heels, so there I was, standing there in a royal purple gown with purple and onyx stilettos… "I'm Cho Chang," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Bella, Harry's sister," I said, shaking her hand.

Harry appeared around the corner. "Hi, Cho," he said, beckoning her inside. "Come in, dinner's almost ready," he said. Why all the fancy dinners? Not that I was complaining…

Cedward emerged next from the chess table chair. His mouth hung open when he saw Cho. "H-hi," he stuttered. I pierced my hand with my thumbnail to keep from shrieking in anger. Cedward was nervous around this girl? Instead of _me_? Jealousy tore through my veins and stopped at my heart, which pumped the envy through my system. I came to a resolution.

_I'll keep fighting jealousy, until it's gone_.

CedPOV

Vampires can have powers, some do, and some don't. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie don't have powers, but they're vampires. Alice… she can read the future, and Jasper can change others' moods. Don't get me wrong, though, Carlisle is a splendid doctor and he has great restraint. In that, he restrains himself from drinking his patients' blood, even though he only drinks the blood from animals. Human blood is very tempting, still. Esme is loving and she'll care for anyone. She is the most consistent mother that any of us could have. Emmett is funny, I guess, and stronger than any of us, though I'm faster. Rosalie is a royal… um… fiend.

I heard Bella's thoughts, the only thought that had ever, ever gotten through to me from her. _I'll keep fighting jealousy, until it's gone_… I repeated it in my mind over and over….

Now there's something you should know. First, I can hear people's thoughts, except for Bella's for some weird reason. And secondly, people's thoughts sound a lot different than their voices. Bella's voice is deeper than her thought-voice. I committed it to memory, but then I thought about this thought's meaning.

_I'll keep fighting jealousy, until it's gone_…

I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I narrowed my eyes in thought, while Bella invited Cho to a game of chess with a smirk she thought no one saw, probably hoping to dominate Cho and make her cry. She was jealous of Cho? Well, Cho was pretty, of course, and I had dated her as a human. but maybe Bella saw that I thought Cho attractive… It wasn't really that, just sort of, but I liked Bella better.

Then it came to me, in a wave of epiphany.

Bella was going to fight the fact that she liked me until she didn't any longer. And that thought-voice had sounded so determined, so unguarded…

There was nothing I could do about it.

Nothing.


	5. Reversed Reverse Psychology

Chapter Five: Reversed Reverse Psychology

GinnyPOV

Bella was born as a preemie. Harry was one year old and she was at St. Mungo's hospital in an incubation chamber when Lord Hackduvy assassinated their parents.

I love my children, and my husband. I really do. I also love that spell that doesn't make you have any effects of pregnancy – no morning sickness, no cravings, no fat ankles, no huge bulky stomach... it's a lifesaver. I did, however have to lift the spell when _Bella_ came so she'd know I was pregnant...

We told Jacob that Harry and I are in our late twenties, but I'm only eighteen. Harry's nineteen. I got pregnant when I was in fifth year, but used that great spell to hide it from everyone. I had James and only told Harry's friend Hermione (who is also my brother's wife). Hermione's the one that told me about the spell (and she cast a Memory Charm on my brother her husband, Ron, to confuse him.). Anyway, I had James before Lord Hackduvy was dead, then told Harry once he had killed Lord Hackduvy, and he was absolutely blithe and happy. Then Harry and I got married and I had Albus, and now I've got my Lily, who I am still carrying...

JacobPOV

I sat at the kitchen table, eating grapes and reading a magazine. There's one thing about American literature and the magazine Entertainment Weekly… it's just great.

Bella came in to the room and sat by me. I sat up straighter so as not to look like a heathen. Why would she sit by me? I thought she liked Cedward. Fine with me, though.

"Hey, Jake," she said. I savored the American dialect, else the delicate strawberry scent wafting from her delicate chocolate-colored locks. "Hi, Bella," I said nervously. She grinned sheepishly. "How ya doing?" she added, making it more awkward. I was glad no one else was ready for dinner yet and in the room. I had to try hard to keep my face normal looking, not red, with my power. My heart was beating so fast.

Bella grabbed my hand. I looked up from staring at the table's intricate design, embarrassed. Then my godfather walked in, looked at our interlocked hands, and walked right back out. My face reddened even more. Why couldn't I control my appearance right now? What was this magic? Right. Love.

Blondie and her hulk husband walked in. "Dog dirt," she said, sitting down with Emmett. What was it with these siblings? Everyone else started filing in, and I tried to wrench my hand away from Bella's for the sake of keeping myself not too embarrassed. But she had a death grip on me. I could have unwrenched it from her hand, but maybe I wanted to hold her hand, for the sake of making Cedward angry.

During dinner, Cedward kept shooting death glares at me. So he did like Bella… but she liked me, apparently. I couldn't cut my chicken on my plate with one hand, so I ripped it with my fork and ate it. I wasn't concentrating on my dinner; I was concentrating on how everyone kept laughing, but I wasn't sure if they were laughing at Bella and I or something else. Rosalie sat beside me and kept kicking me with a pointy-toed shoe.

Ginny spoke up to break the awkwardness. "So… Alice… what college are you thinking of going to? I heard Americans have different schooling than us…" (By this I understood her to mean "Americans" as Muggles and "us" as wizards, but no one else did) Alice's eyes went blank and she closed them. "Alice?" Ginny stuttered. "Are you okay?" Alice was beside Bella and Jasper, so Bella finally released me from her death grip to snap in front of Alice's face. It remained impassive.

"Alice," Jasper said, shaking her. "I'm up," she said sleepily. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm really tired. What was the question?" "What college are you going to?" Cedward said though gritted teeth. Alice smiled. "I was thinking about Harvard, Caltech, M.I.T., or something else. I've applied to all of them, but I'm not really sure if I should go to M.I.T or Harvard, though. Because Rosalie is at Caltech."

"What about Emmett? I thought you, Rosalie, Jasper and him were all the same age?" Ginny inquired. Alice said, "Oh no, Emmett can't get in to anything better than community college."

I heard a bang as though it was thundering outside. "It's raining, I think," James said in his cute, innocent voice. "Is it?" Ginny said, getting up. She had a very large stomach, and it poked out under her shirt as she stood. She pulled her shirt down and walked to the window, but halfway there, she said, "Oh!"

"What?" Harry asked. "Is it hailing?"

"No! It's _time_!" she shrieked, running to the door. "Time for dessert?" James yelled. "I want pudding or a lolly." Emmett bounded down the stairs, shouting, "I want a lolly, too!"


	6. Overload of Fantasy

Chapter Six: Magic and Werewolves… Wait! And _vampires_?

RosaliePOV

Two things clicked in my brain that I hadn't realized before. Firstly, Emmett was an idiot, though that just made him more funny. Secondly, Ginny was going into labor. A baby! Ginny was nineteen; perhaps Harry and Ginny couldn't take care of yet another child... A plan formulated in my mind, not to get the newborn, but to take Albie. Sweet, cute little Albie that looked so like little Henry I knew as a human… My own child, finally…

I dashed to the door, supporting Ginny's back as she waddled out the open door. "Where to?" I asked her. "Harry said he'd take me when the time came," Ginny said.

"There's not enough time!" Cedward said, dashing over. Harry was inside, gathering up all of the dinner and trying to get the children outside. Emmett was inside, dangling a piece of chocolate in front of James.

Cedward grabbed Ginny's arm and spun on the spot. There was a horrible feeling as if I were being squished inside a dark tube. I didn't want to open my eyes, but I wrenched them open with difficulty… I was in an almost-a-cartoon spiraling purple and black tube, moving forward at a billion miles an hour… It lasted three seconds but it was very jolting and scary.

The feeling was gone when we were in front of a building. It looked like an old, run-down shop. I wondered why Cedward would have taken us there... and how...

Ginny looked at Cedward. "You're a wizard?" she asked, but before he could answer, she burst out, "Of course you are! But it doesn't matter… Get me in the hospital! Now," she commanded, changing direction.

"Ginny Potter is going into labor," Cedward told a mannequin inside a dusty, dirty and yellowed window. The mannequin (her hat looked like something from Sherlock Holmes) winked, or at least I thought it did, then it said, "Alright, walk in the door there." Perhaps I was imagining it.

We walked through the door of the shop, and it was a huge, white hospital. A few paramedic-like people came and took Ginny away.

I shoved Cedward into a waiting-room chair. "Explain yourself," I demanded. I wasn't ready for my brother to tell me the truth.

"I'm a wizard, just like they are," he said. "You're a _vampire_," I hissed at him, digging a porcelain fingernail into his forehead. I ripped a good-sized chunk of skin off, and it grew back after a second. I corrected myself. "An _insane_ vampire."

"Vampires are surprisingly accepted in the Wizarding community," he said nonchalantly, ignoring me. "You're not telling the truth," I screamed. A few of the paramedic-like people in white robes shushed me. I growled at them, and they backed off, resolving to ignore me.

"I am telling the truth," Cedward said, taking my arm and spinning on the spot. The horrible sensation of being sucked into a tube came back, and we appeared in a snowy, cute little village. The yearn of shopping flooded through me.

"Welcome to Hogsmeade," Cedward said monotonously, glaring at a shop with a sign reading "Madam Puddifoot's" or something like that. I wondered why. He read my mind. "Old memories," he said as his answer. At my confusion, he added, "Bad memoria."

I really hated it when he quoted songs, no matter how great the band was.

He led me into a shop called Honeyduke's. It smelled horrible, like human sugary candy, and it was empty except for the cashier. Cedward seized a lollipop from a wooden bin, went to the counter and gave the lollipop to the cashier woman. "Blood Pop?" she asked, scrunching her face up. Apparently this was a revolting choice. "A Knut, if you really know who Blood Pops are for…" Cedward took out a tiny coin from his pocket and handed it to the woman. She put it into the old-fashioned register, and then closed it with a little bell 'ding'.

We walked out of the shop, and Cedward unwrapped the lollipop and shoved it into my mouth.

I savored the taste. I ripped the candy off of the stick and chucked the stick into the snow, but on second thought I picked up the stick and licked the rest of the candy residue off, the big candy part still in my mouth. I chewed the hardened blood, my sharp teeth ripping it apart, releasing a packet of warm blood from the center of the candy, the familiar juice running down my throat… It was sweet and perfectly preserved, real blood sold on a stick, with euphoria in the very center of the lollipop... Why didn't they have these in Forks?

I asked Cedward through gritted teeth, "May I please have some more Wizardy money?" I growled, because I knew he wouldn't let me have any more blood lollipops if I didn't ask nicely.

He ignored me. "I _am_ a wizard," he said. "I suppose we'll have to tell the others now…" For once I was the one that read his mind. (That's a figure of speech. Of course you'd take me seriously since Cedward really can read minds.)

I rolled my eyes. He wanted me to keep a secret. "Give me the money unless you'd like me to kill the cashier and take the bucket of lollipops."

I got the money. As I ate the lollipops (I bought the barrel of them) the euphoria began to wear off, and I could talk while I ate instead of being fully concentrated on the blood.

"Jacob smells," I said. "Lycanthropes have that effect on vampires," he said. "Jacob's a werewolf?" I gasped.

"And he can change his appearance at will. Taller, shorter, handsomer, uglier, whatever he wants," he said. At my stupefied expression, he explained, "It's his heredity. His mother was like that too." I nodded, still dazed. Smelly Dog-Transformer could look… good-looking if he tried. Gross impostor.

I was surprised when Cedward added, "And all of the Potters are wizards or witches, too… including Jacob and excluding Bella…"

Oh, this just kept getting better and better…

I unwrapped another Blood Pop and crushed it between my rozor-sharp teeth, the saccharine elation that ran down my throat helping me think better…

BelPOV

It was nice at the house. Well, there was still a bit of tension; we all knew Ginny was in labor at St. Mungo's hospital, but it was relaxing in that Rosalie wasn't here to annoy me. Cho left (she unfortunately beat me at chess) and Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and Alice left with some shotguns to go hunting. I wondered why they didn't bring any ammo with them.

So I was alone with James, Albus and Jacob. Harry went to the hospital, and Cedward had come back only to leave quickly when seeing Jacob, for some reason. I knew Cedward couldn't have been jealous of Jacob because it was pretty apparent that Cho was Cedward's crush.

I explored the house. I found some pretty cool food in the refrigerator, which somehow doesn't run off electricity. Barely anything except expressly electric items run off of electricity, such as the computers and the telephone. They don't have a dishwasher, but Ginny always gets the dishes done quickly…

I ended up wandering into the dining room only to find a humongous mess of what was dinner on the table, so I started to clean it up. Jacob came in, told me James was calling me, so I left. When I came back in to tease him (James said he hadn't called me), the dishes were gone and clean in the cupboards.

It's a really weird and awesome family.

I tried to find a decent station on television, but all they had was mostly British news. I found some American news (a speech by the President) but it was really boring so I fell asleep.

What's really weird is I woke up in my bed. It was eight in the morning, and no one else was up. I heard a door open and shut, and I ran downstairs.

I looked toward the door, grabbing a lamp. A tall shadow was moving by the door…

I swung. The lamp broke in two and I heard a cry. The figure stepped inside and the door slammed closed.

"Aah! Ow! Bella!" Jacob screeched. I gasped. I had hit Jacob with a lamp!

Blood gushed from his forehead. I apologized. "I thought you were a burglar oh, my – where's everyone else – didn't they hear that - " I rambled. I wet a cloth and he dabbed his forehead. He had a huge cut across his head in jagged lines. It looked like it hurt. "'S okay, it's okay," he said. He dabbed his forehead, explaining, "I was holding the door for the royal – um… evil empress. She's back from hunting deer, apparently. No kill. I was hoping they'd kill her."

I laughed, looking at his forehead. There was no cut anymore. He could tell I noticed. "I'm a… fast healer?" he lied. I nodded, pretending I believed him. People really did take me to be a complete imbecile, I guess.

Everyone filed into the kitchen. I could have sworn Jacob had a twig in his hand as he was rinsing his rag out in the sink, but when I looked again it was gone, replaced by a handheld can opener from the can-opener-holder right beside him. Fishy.

Rosalie, Cedward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle and Esme came back, all apparently having gone hunting. Esme _was_ wearing camo trousers, and Alice was in a completely ridiculous ensemble of a camo miniskirt and tank top with matching stilettos. _Reasonable_ must not be in her vocabulary.

Cedward said, "You okay, Jacob? I heard that lamp impacting your skull." "I'm okay," Jacob said. Out of embarrassment, I went to go sweep up the shards of glass that were the lamp, but they were gone. The lamp was sitting on an end table by the door, good as new.

I cried, "What is going on?"

Cedward rushed in. "Is everything all right?" he asked. "No!" I said defiantly. "There's something going on!"

The rest came in too, but I didn't hear the kids stir from upstairs. "What's the matter?" Esme asked concernedly.

"I know there's something weird going on," I explained.

Alice closed her eyes.

"You guys didn't take any ammo with you hunting." I blurted.

"The guns were loaded already," Emmett said.

"I've read gun safety, you liar," I said. It was okay because it was Emmett. I could talk to him like that any day. "And Jacob, I saw that twig-thing in your hand when you were standing by the sink."

Jacob stuttered, "What? I – I didn't…"

"I'm _tired_ of the lies," I said quietly. "Just tell me the truth and I'll accept it."

Everyone looked at Carlisle. "Alright. Cedward, if you will…"

Jacob looked smug, but Rosalie ruined his moment. "Cedward's told me about _you_, filth," Rosalie said. "He knows all about _your_ kind. The - " Then she lowered her voice and I couldn't hear what she said, but by the mortified expression on Jacob's face, it was true. And perhaps shameful.

Cedward took my arm. "Let's talk," he said. I reluctantly nodded, and only did because it was sweet Cedward. I didn't want to like him because of Cho, and I really liked Jacob, but…

Cedward spun on the spot and we were gone.

I was sucked through a tiny tube, I felt big and little at the same time, everything was wrong, I was being squeezed, my brains floated, but it was over after a second…

Bells jingled Christmas tunes as we walked through the quaint little town. It was merry, and there was some electric bolt whizzing through the air. It lingered on my fingertips and warmed me for some reason, and I had every reason to believe that this place was _magic_.

Cedward led me into a little restaurant-pub place called "The Three Broomsticks". It was warm and full inside, and cheery fires danced in brick fireplaces and inside candles set atop pine tables. It smelled of cinnamon and vanilla and something else delightful. Cedward started walking to a table, and I had paused to take in everything, so I was left for a moment alone in the pub. I located our table and walked over to it.

I sat in my warm chair and breathed in the air with my eyes closed, then Cedward spoke.

"I'm a wizard." "Pardon?" I asked, raising my eyebrows for a split second. He couldn't have said _wizard_. It must have been _lizard_. Cedward was a lizard… It didn't explain anything yet. Maybe he could transform into one.

"I'm a wizard," he said again. "W – I – Z – A – R – D," he spelled out.

I nodded, putting my arms on the table and laying my head on them like a pillow. "Listen. I think you might want to look into a rehab facility. There are some nice ones in California, but some lack security, I've heard, but I really think that you need some he - "

Cedward did not take me seriously and was not amused, either. "If you listen, I can explain." I lifted my head up. I'd listen, but I didn't have to believe it if I didn't want to.

"I'm a wizard. So explains the lamp… I fixed it with a spell. I have a wand - " he took a thin wooden stick out of his pocket, resembling the twig I'd seen in Jacob's hand by the sink – "and I can do magic."

"Show me," I dared. He pointed the so-called (by him) wand at the candle at our table, and the flame turned pink, then blue, then orange, then fuchsia… It wasn't enough. The fact that he made a saltshaker levitate right after that was plenty, though.

"I believe you. And I wouldn't have wanted you to go to rehab. I don't trust them after some lady was mur - " I started. "Shh," Cedward shushed, amused.

"Another big bomb. All of the Potters and Jacob are wizards," he said.

That's when a pretty waitress came up to serve us. She looked at Cedward. "Hello, Ced - " she started, then corrected herself. "I'm sorry, you reminded me of someone," she excused herself. I was confused. "Wait, you were right, his name's Cedward," I told her. She looked confused. "No, someone else, had to be someone else…"

Cedward interrupted. "Bella, what'll you have?" he asked me. "Um… breakfast?" I asked. It was still early morning, and I doubted anything else was good for morning here… "Try some pumpkin juice," Cedward said, then looked at the woman. "She's a Squib," he explained to her. She nodded with a smile. "So's my aunt, she lives in Little Whinging, sweet old dear… Loves figs… So… for breakfast there are kippers, bacon, eggs, ham, toast, pancakes, Belgian waffles or sausage…" "Eggs, pancakes and sausage," I decided. "With some pumpkin juice."

'Squib' did _not_ sound like a nice word at all. "What's a Squib?" I asked him. He answered reluctantly. "It's a person born into a Wizarding family, but they don't have any magical powers."

"So… you're saying that my parents were… a wizard and witch," I made sure this was what he meant. "Yes," Cedward said. He took a photograph out of an inside pocket of his jacket and showed it to me.

A young man and woman stood in front of a lake, holding hands and smiling. The hands that weren't being held waved at the camera. If it was a video, it wouldn't have been surprising. But it was a thin piece of paper I held in my shaky hand, yellowed with age.

Okay. So maybe I was a Squib.

I stared at the still-fuchsia flame of the candle on our table, contemplating what this meant. Maybe I was a failure. Maybe I was pitied for not being magic.

The waitress brought my breakfast, and Cedward paid for it as I immediately dug in.

Cedward explained everything to me through my breakfast, and I was surprised about everything he told me about Jacob.

He was a wizard.

He could change his appearance at will.

He was a werewolf.

He was _so awesome!_ Learning all of this made me like him more.

AliPOV

None of this is supposed to happen!

No!

Bella ends up with _Cedward_! Cho ends up with some Seamus guy I have never heard of!

And under _no_, NO circumstances does Bella end up with Jacob!

But my visions are changing, and it's all wrong! Why does Bella leave us Cullens to live with the Potters?

Jacob Black.

Why does Bella get married at twenty in _Britain_, not _Forks_?

Jacob Black!

And WHY is my vision all screwed up?

JACOB BLACK!

AUGH!

I am going to go let off some steam at the London malls.


	7. Truth, Covered in Security

Chapter Seven: Truth, Covered In Security

BelPOV

Cedward and I got back around noon. I was glad Jacob looked jealous because, first of all, it made Cedward jealous and I was assured that he liked me.

Cedward and I weren't the only ones to get home around noon. Harry and Ginny also arrived with a pink bundle in their arms. Ginny was a lot thinner, and she was beaming. "Eight pounds, two ounces!" she said proudly, displaying the child for us all to see.

Cedward muttered something, but I only caught the first part: "Fil - " and then he disappeared into the next room.

Harry told Jacob and I, "We're having guests for dinner, so could you all get to cleaning?"

Jacob went into the kitchen. I followed him and shut the door. "Show me magic," I said. "Really _cool_ magic." He tried to act confused, but I said, "Go on."

Finally he took out his wand and pointed at the sink, full of dirty dishes. He jerked his wand at them and a sponge began to scrub them. Then he pointed at a couple of sad-looking dishtowels and muttered, "Tergeo." And they were clean.

Jacob showed me how to cook by magic too. He pointed his wand at a pile of russet potatoes and they shot out of their skins. He jabbed his wand in the direction of onions, and they cut themselves up with a nearby knife. He waved his wand and a pot filled with water from the sink – and all of the potatoes plunked into the pot, one after another, with no splash. He opened the refrigerator with his wand and got out butter, which fell into a saucepan, which was immediately filled with onions, and they sautéed themselves…

"Amazing," I muttered. "It's nothing," Jacob said modestly.

"You're amazing," I said. "I like your hair long, but not too long," I added, and his hair shot up a few centimeters. He didn't think I noticed. He just said, "I like your hair how it is."

So he could change his appearance at will, and I knew he was a wizard.

I decided to test the other 'fact' Cedward had mentioned.

"Where do you go on the full moon?" I whispered, embarrassed to ask the question. My voice came out too husky; I realized I sounded quite like someone pretending to be someone else on the other end of the phone.

"Away," he answered. "Did Cedward tell you about that too? Or did you _want_ to know?" "I wanted to know," I lied. They had lied to me… an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth…

Jacob grinned.

I was about to kiss him; I really was, when Cedward came in. He looked at Jacob coldly. "Get _away_ from my sister," he growled.

"Cedward!" I shouted. "We were _talking_!" Cedward looked as if it were otherwise. "His thoughts say otherwise, Bella," Cedward said.

Okay, I wasn't going to ask, but I could guess. It probably wasn't right, but Cedward had kept this away from me too. He could read minds.

"I happen to _love_ him, Cedward," I said frostily. I was glad when his eyes misted over with rage. "That _dog_ doesn't know what love is, Bella," he said. "Leave it to people who know what it is."

Apparently Harry had heard the squabble. He came in. "Bella? Jake? Cedward? Everything okay in here?" I knew my brother wasn't dumb, he knew exactly what was going on…

"Don't go near her," Cedward told Jacob, fuming. "She's _mine_."

Harry's eyebrows shot up.

"I am mine, Cedward," I corrected him aggravatingly. "And I love Jacob." I walked over to Jacob and hugged him. Cedward's face was in pain, and he left the room. I heard a number of loud, obnoxious clatters and the front door slam.

"O…kay, then," Harry said uncertainly.

CedPOV

I detest him. I abhor Jacob Black. He is taking my Bella away from me. She's my Bella. _Mine_.

I ran out of the house and went… somewhere… to vent my feelings… but I didn't know where I was.

I wasn't looking with my eyes; I was looking with my other senses. I was in a forest, and there were animals… Naturally I must have hunted, because there was a sweet, sticky substance on my teeth when I came to…

The animal blood helped me think. Was Bella still 'fighting jealousy', as her thoughts had told me, or was it gone? Was there any jealousy? Why was she jealous? Because Cho and I had an awkward encounter? I didn't love Cho. I loved Bella more than I had ever loved anyone.

I came to a conclusion. _I'll keep fighting jealousy, until it's gone, _I quoted Bella's thought. I _would_ keep fighting it. I'd keep fighting Jacob Black.

JacobPOV

It's pretty embarrassing but also pretty good for a guy's self-esteem when a girl rejects another guy for you, right in front of the other guy. That's what Bella did. And that dumb Cedward thought he had a chance, he really did… Now maybe I'm going a bit overboard.

So, when Cedward returned, it was dinnertime. Ginny had her niece Victoire come over for dinner along with Bill and Fleur. (Bill is Ginny's brother, and Fleur is Bill's wife. Fleur is… I don't like her, but she's pretty. Victoire is their daughter. She's a knockout.)

I like hanging out with Victoire. It's kind of creepy because she can be happy and laughing with you one second and the next yelling her great head off at James or Albie for spilling milk or something. She hates kids, in other words, but she's nice to me and only a year younger than me (she's seventeen). I don't see why Harry, my uncle Ron or aunt Hermione don't like her. She could give _Rosalie_ a run for her money. But there's no way I, or anyone else for that matter, would say that. She'd bite my head off.

At dinner we sat at the table. Bella decided to hold my hand again, and I was totally okay with it because Cedward was fuming during dinner. It was cool.

I was jerked out of my stance of being enthralled that Cedward was mad when Ginny said (baby Lily in her arms) "Pass the salt, Jacob, please." I cursed Wrackspurts silently and handed her the saltshaker.

Victoire smiled at Cedward. Uh-oh. "Hi," she said to him. I cleared my throat. "Cedward, this is Victoire." He looked at me as if I were something Rosalie had called me earlier (it was related to a pile of dog poo left on the sidewalk.) Then he looked at Victoire and gave her what was probably an attractive smile. She smiled back. Cedward glanced at Bella, who was ignoring this, and said quietly, probably just to embarrass Victoire and maybe make Bella mad, "Sorry, I'm not single."

Victoire's face turned red and she excused herself, mumbling excuses about a powder room. Carlisle looked at Cedward. "That was uncalled for," he said to him. "You know better, Cedward."

Cedward shrugged. My aunt and uncle (Victoire's parents) would have been angry if they'd heard. Especially Fleur, since she was most likely the prom queen or something once and had the same thing in mind for Victoire.

Bella helped me clear the dishes. I was showing off a pretty good piece of magic for her in the kitchen (the plates flew into the sink, clattered inside of it, and appeared in the cabinets, clean and dry), when stupid Cedward came in.

"Bella, I need to speak to you immediately," he said. Bella gave him the Death Glare. I was thinking _How great it would be if I could just give him one good kick_ – when he said, "What, Werewolf?" _Someone_ was looking for a fight.

How did he know I was a werewolf? That was so not cool! Bella was not supposed to find out…

Bella spoke up. "Well, at least _he_'s a werewolf, and a wizard, _and_ he can change his appearance. All _you_ are is a stupid _vampire-wizard_, dumb - " That's when I interrupted her. "_He_'s a _wizard _and a _vampire_? Bella, why do you live with these people?" "That's just what I was thinking," Bella said coldly, shooting out venom and the words stinging Cedward. "I never felt safe there, especially not with _his_ room across from _mine_. He could kill me any night and suck my blood."

Cedward's face fell, apparently taking this hard. "Bella, I would never hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

I was totally not ready for her to burst into tears. "Oh, I don't know what to think anymore, Cedward."

I was also not ready (and I got pretty mad) when she flung herself into his arms. "Cedward, I believe you," she wailed.

So. Not. Fair. Ugh!

BellaPOV

So Cedward and I didn't want to murder one another any longer. He confessed he had been jealous, that he had dated Cho in a past life when he was human and not a vampire, and she was a backstabbing… bad woman that had dated Cho the year after he had 'died'. I would have to scold Harry for that one. And I admitted I had been jealous, and that I was just using poor cute Jacob to make Cedward jealous…

Poor cute Jacob. He looked so sad, and I liked him, I really did. He could change his appearance (he could look like Cedward!) and he could change into a werewolf and kill vampires for me… but… I don't know why I liked Cedward more.

After dinner was over, I went to go watch a movie with everyone. I didn't know where Jacob went, and I felt so bad for being mean. He was so cute and sweet, and he could even date Victoire if he wanted to.

Before the movie started, Victoire came in and sat by Cedward with a bucket of popcorn. I think it might have been an accident, but I daresay it was on purpose that she dumped the steaming hot popcorn with extra hot grease all over him. Then, as Cedward and I were holding hands during the movie, she left to go get a glass of water and it somehow drenched me.

I was dismayed when she started begging her parents to let her stay the night. She had somehow befriended Alice (my wardrobe of great expensive horrible clothes were squealed over by the two) and I don't know how Victoire convinced her mother to let her stay.

"Please, Mum, only for tonight. I'll be back by five tomorrow," she was saying by the door. "No, Veectwarr, you don't 'ave any of your theengs with you," Fleur said in her harsh accent. "Mum. Alice has so much stuff – I could borrow something -" Victoire persuaded. Alice nodded enthusiastically, jumping up and down gracefully but energetically. Fleur eyed Alice's dress abode – perfectly matched knee-length brown skirt with a tan tank top and a turquoise scarf, not to mention the perpetually torturous heels on her tiny feet. "Eef she ees okay with that…" Fleur gave in. "No boys, Victoire," her father, Bill, joked, his mutilated face from an accident (Cedward told me he was attacked by a werewolf) But I wasn't so sure Bill was joking.

I brushed my teeth, put up my hair and dressed in my pajamas in the bathroom. "Geez, what's taking her so long?" Victoire whined outside of the door to no one in particular, though I had been in the bathroom for a grand total of a whopping three minutes. "I'll be right out," I called with sarcasm.

I walked towards the door, and I hadn't locked it. Bad idea. Victoire had flung it open and it cracked me on the nose. Hard. Blood gushed out.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme and Cedward stood in the doorway. "Lock the door, Bella!" I heard Jacob yell. "_Lock yourself in!_" I wasn't about to argue. Cedward's face was livid and hungry, and I was scared. His words echoed in my mind… _I wouldn't ever hurt you, Bella… You know that, Bella… I wouldn't ever hurt you… _Yeah, right.

I slammed the door shut and locked it. While I waited for whatever it was that I could open the door again, I cleaned off my bloody nose, periodically rinsing the rag in the sink and letting the blood go down the drain, and I pondered why I was locked in.

This I knew, now. Cedward was a vampire and he was hungry. He smelled my blood. The others were vampires too (all of the Cullens) and _naturally_…

"Open the door now, Bella," Jacob said. I did. Cedward stood there, nodding. "I'm okay, no danger…" Cedward opened his arms. Jacob nodded at me, telling me what Cedward said was true. I ran to Jacob, tears running down my face with the guilt of what I had done still lodged in my heart.

"I'm sorry, Jake, I'm sorry." I stated, casting my head down. "I can't forgive myself for this." Jacob shook his head. "It's okay, I think," he told me. "I get it." "But you shouldn't _have_ to _get_ anything," I said. "It's my fault. I'm so mean and evil…"

He half-grinned. "It's okay," he said, walking toward the stairs. I watched him go down the stairs. His features transformed into Cedward's. "Watch out," he said, as Victoire slipped into the now-unoccupied bathroom. "Now I look just like him." It was too bad that Jacob was better-looking as Jacob. Cedward was, I was starting to realize, not that great-looking. Even this surprised me.

I laughed as Jacob went back to his old self, glad he didn't hate me for what I did to him. Cedward patted my shoulder, and then commanded seriously, "Go to bed. Now."

I sighed and went to my room, falling asleep content for the most part. Except for stupid Victoire messing up _everything_. Cedward's relationship with me, for instance. It could get muddy.

I slept in the spare room on my bed. Victoire slept on Alice's bed, and Alice didn't sleep. Instead she was on her laptop all night shopping online. Victoire thought Alice eventually dozed off, but I knew the truth. Alice didn't need sleep. No vampire needs sleep.

I don't know what's happening. At breakfast, Cedward didn't look quite as handsome as I thought he did… Jacob looked a lot better than him. I started noticing Cedward's flaws, he had a bit of a belly (too much blood-drinking, I suppose) compared to Jacob's six-pack that I accidentally saw as he was hanging Christmas lights on the tree in the foyer. Cedward had a bit of an attitude towards children ("Filthy little mudbl - " he always started to say near children, especially James) and he was so ornery. ("I _need_ to leave now and go order something online. I don't have _time_ to hold the fil – little Lily. I've got things to finish.")

Whereas on the other hand, Jacob was always there to help out Ginny and Harry; I watched him cook lunch with magic, and he distracted James and Albus while Ginny was feeding Lily and Harry was at work… I didn't know what was up. I guess getting to know Edward wasn't so great after all. Being his… okay, girlfriend was even worse. He was so territorial and wouldn't let me go near Jacob without his express knowledge. He would even flip out when I spent too much time with James. I mean, really. James is like, _four_. Sheesh.

I realized the problem, and how to fix it.

JacobPOV

I was totally surprised that while I was making dinner, who else but Bella comes in and shoots me a 1000-watt smile. Why does she _do_ this to me?

"Hey, Jake," she said. "Hi, Bella," I returned politely, sending Brussels sprouts soaring through the air into a saucepan. "Look," she says, approaching me as I started cutting carrots with a knife no one was holding, "I'm really sorry." "It's okay," I said, a bit exasperated as I sent the cutting board with the chopped carrots on it over to a bowl. "I thought we already made up." I made the knife scrape the carrots into the bowl, then the cutting board and knife land into the sink with a quiet clatter. "I know," she said, sitting on the counter, "This is different."

"Really?" I said, scrubbing the sinkful of dishes without hands (or effort). "What is it?"

"Well…" she began. "I don't think I like Cedward. He is a _jerk_ sometimes." She figured that out _now_, of all times. "Oh," I said, veiling my thoughts. Bella put her face in her hands. "I'm just _so_ confused. I don't like Cedward anymore. At all, Jacob. He's mean to the children-"

Yep, I had heard him call _James _a filthy little Mudblood plenty of times. Filthy little Mudblood calling the children filthy little Mudbloods… It was ironic because Ginny was a pureblood and Harry was a half-blood…

Bella shook her head. "I'm afraid I'm not making much sense," she said shamefully. "The point is, Jake, it's not him I'm in love with." I waited. "It's you."

I shook my head. "Bella, this has already happened, you've already broken my heart -" Whoops. That wasn't supposed to come out. I sounded like a weak sparrow. _You've already broken my heart, _a little annoying clown voice taunted me in my head. _You've already broken my heart and I go home and cry and feel bad for myself…_

"No, Jake. I've thought about it. You are a much better person. You can cook, and you aren't mean to children. You appreciate me… Cedward used to be nicer, but then, once he thought he had me fooled, he turned out to be a complete and utter jerk."

"I see," I said, nodding once, pointing my wand at the trash and Vanished it, replacing it with a new bag. "You're not faking this time?" Bella looked down, then back up. "I can prove it," she said, jumping down from the counter and coming over to kiss me.


	8. Dart in His Heart

Chapter Eight: Put A Dart In His Heart

BelPOV

Victoire's parents decided to let her stay the whole day, then come for dinner themselves. After dinner, they were to pick her up. But those hours she was still there were torture.

First of all, she started snooping. Right in the middle of mine and Jacob's liplock, she waltzed into the kitchen in all her annoying glory and said, "Ooh, won't Cedward be disappointed in you, Bella?" I smiled at her and replied coolly, "I suppose so, since I don't like him in the slightest," and I went back to kissing Jacob.

She was pretty deflated after that, so she began punishing Cedward, since I wasn't a good target. Liquid was the only thing that could really hurt him, and only then because he had to go upstairs and change his shirt. So multiple times that day he went up and down and up and down (and up and down again) the stairs, in clean, dry shirts. My favorite of the sabotages was that Victoire nicked (I love British words) a bloody steak wrapping from the kitchen, where Jacob stood browning each steak perfectly, and dropped the wrapping on Cedward.

I think Victoire was a bit freaked when he started drinking the blood from the package. I was disgusted. I liked _him_? Jacob was so much better.

Finally Victoire left. Ginny put on a movie with some ugly guy that was supposed to have looked like Harry as the main character (for some reason, everyone thought the movie was pretty funny and Harry kept groaning and saying things like, "Now, I don't understand why they did that," and "Did you know the twins aren't really twins, just brothers that look alike?")

I didn't pay attention to the movie. I sat far away from Cedward, who said odd things like, "Robert Pattenson is the best, isn't he, Bella?" and "A horrible depiction of her… she wouldn't have _considered_ him, she'd have gone with Cedric at a moment's notice…"…

I still couldn't believe I had thought him attractive in the slightest.

Anyway, Cedward was livid that I hadn't sat next to him during the movie. "Why didn't… weren't you seated by me?" he demanded as I scooped out some Edy's ice cream by the freezer, plopping the chocolate ice cream into a crystal bowl, to share with Jake. "Why didn't weren't _what_? You've been alive for a long time. Tell me, what is it like to be stupid after so many years?"

Cedward's face fell, then he smiled, thinking I was joking. I didn't smile; I stood there, arms crossed. When his smile didn't falter I raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow (thanks to Alice). "What's _up_, Bella?" he asked. "What, you like the Jacob bloke better? Is that it? Am I not good enough for you? Or… do you just have a thing for werewolves?"

I decided to half-smile. "You know, you think you've got everyone fooled, Cedward." I picked up the ice cream scoop again, off the counter. "You're not as nice of a… vampire… as everyone thinks you are," I added, wagging the scoop at him. He scowled. "So you do think that Jacob is better," he said, "I can tell."

"You've been watching too much psychiatrist TV shows," I told him, inserting two spoons from the utensil drawer into the crystal bowl full of ice cream. "You think you've got me all figured out because you're a vampire, and you think that you have more experience in life. In reality, you're no older than Harry."

I got up to leave him there with his mouth gaping open, taking my very full bowl of ice cream with me.

Jacob and I sat in the living room, after Harry and Ginny put in a new movie that the kids couldn't watch and the three little ones had been sent to bed. He ate most of the ice cream, probably because it kept melting. When I went to take the dishes to the kitchen after we ate all of it, the spoon he was using had been very hot, like 100 degrees. I dropped it into the sink with a mortified expression. He must have had a horrible fever! This was _bad_!

"Jacob!" I said, running back into the living room. "Do you have a fever?" "No," he said. "I'm fine. Why?" "Well…" I said, embarrassed, "The spoon you were holding earlier was really hot, and… maybe… I dunno. Nevermind. I was just worried." He shrugged. "Oh well."

Then he lowered his voice as I sat next to him. "It's probably my body heat," he said. "I'm a werewolf, and when it gets close to the full moon, I kind of start heating up, then I cool down right after the full moon is over."

I nodded, not understanding anything, but nodding nonetheless.

The movie was pretty boring, a typical Romeo and Juliet. I went to bed.

In the morning, all of the Cullens were gone. Esme, Alice, Jasper and Carlisle were the only Cullens I still liked. Emmett was too gross, and Rosalie was… evil. And Cedward… well, he's just horrible now.

Harry was at work, and Ginny on maternity leave, so Ginny, Jacob and I hung Christmas decorations everywhere. James and Albus were allotted to hang the bright gold bulbs on the Christmas tree, and Jacob enchanted the tree to make it have a bit of snow coming down on it at all times, seemingly from nowhere, or maybe the angel on the tip of the tree.

The house was decked out in Christmassy stuff. Christmas was, after all, in five days. The house smelled like cinnamon cookies at all times, and the bathrooms had fairy lights circling the space between the ceiling and the wall. All of the soap in the house was exchanged for little snowglobes with cute pictures inside, and they were encircled by mint-cinnamon-yum soap (Albus licked a bar of it.) Ginny changed all of the bedding in the house to warm down blankets that were red and green with golden stars and Santa on them, except Ginny told me not to say Santa. "Father Christmas," she corrected, holding Lily, when I mentioned Santa. "Also known as Harry and I having to sneak downstairs at two in the morning to stuff boxes beneath the tree." I laughed, and Albus blinked confusedly. "I love children… they're so innocent…" Ginny said, pinching Albus' cheek adoringly.

Jacob and I hung mistletoe underneath doorways, put garland on the window edges, and a merry wreath on the front doors. (I say doors because their front 'door' is actually two doors next to each other. Big stained glass ones, may I add.) He sung songs and recited poetry to keep us both entertained as we lifted various Christmas embellishments, and we even made up some of our own.

Let's stab a dart

_Through Cedward's heart_

_And tell him it's impossible, that_

_He's much too fat._

Then Ginny announced the Cullens were going out today and would be back in the morning. That's when I realized she knew they were vampires. And Harry probably did, too.

Good.

JacobPOV

Today is really fun. No Cullens, no Cedward, no evil Rosalie… Bella and I hung ornaments for about seven hours. I got up at ten, we hung ornaments until five in the afternoon, with breakfast and lunch there somewhere. I made dinner while Ginny fed Lily and while she gave the Albie and James a bath.

It began snowing outside halfway through dinner preparations. Bella, who had taken a liking to watching me magically cook, excitedly sat by the scenic window, watching it snow. She was sitting on the counter, jittery. I could tell she wanted to go outside.

"D'you want to put this on hold and go out to play in the snow?" I asked her, silently casting a spell on the oven to adjust to the correct temperature when needed. "Sure," she beamed, running upstairs to go get her jacket.

We went outside. I didn't need a coat or anything, since I was already heated up enough with my werewolf warmth. It's not really that horrible, being a werewolf. My father was one, and my father was one of Harry's dad's best friends… Harry told me that my dad said that his father called his being a werewolf his 'furry little problem', and that everyone thought he owned a mischievous bunny. Harry's dad would turn into a stag at will (he was an Animagi. I think they're called) and keep my dad company while he it was in his "werewolf week". He had another friend too, Sirius, who would turn into a dog to keep my father company. There was another friend, but he was apparently a traitor, and a rat.

Rats aren't cool.

We went outside. It was cold and blustery, but it felt like a cool wind on my hot skin. The sky was ice blue, and everything was white. It was so perfect and unmaimed, but then Bella slipped and fell in the snow and ruined the perfection with a big hole in the snow.

Anyway, so Bella and I played in the snow. She threw snowballs at me, and I kind of melted the snow wherever I went with my werewolf warmth. But we did make a pretty cool igloo and fort, and then we went inside.

I quickly finished making dinner, and Ginny came down as I was setting the table and Bella was making the salad.

"What did you make?" Ginny asked, putting Albus into his highchair at the dining room table while holding Lily. "Minestrone," I told her, putting porcelain soup bowls in front of each seat. "With beef?" Ginny inquired. "Pork," I answered back. "_Yes_!" she said youthfully.

Harry came home right before dinner, so we all ate with him. Everyone likes talking to Harry, so Bella was talking to him about all that Cedward had told her. "I just thought you might like to know," she said, "that I know you're all wizards and witches. And I'm a squid."

"Squib," Harry corrected.

"Oh," Bella answered. "And that means that I can't do a lick of magic," she added as she put a spoonful of soup into her mouth. "Well," Harry said in a way to tease his little sister, "You're really good at falling. Maybe that's your gift, and you _are_ magical after all." Bella scowled, then laughed.

"The oddest thing is," Ginny said, "We knew they were vampires and they knew we're witches and wizards." "Cedward is one too. A wizard," Bella said.

Harry and Ginny were surprised. So was I. Cedward – a wizard? Chub Belly a _wizard_?

_Vampires can be wizards_?!

I couldn't believe Cedward was a wizard. I had no idea how he could be.

Ginny and Harry were extremely surprised at this, and they put the three little ones in bed, then discussed it at the dinner table as Bella and I cleared the dishes.

As Bella and I were just finishing drying the dishes, I heard a car come into the driveway. "They're back," I said. "Who?" Bella asked, putting a bowl into the cupboard above her head. "The Cullens," I said. "Our vampire enem – I mean, friends."

All of us (besides the sleeping kids) went outside to greet them. It was chilly outside, and the sky was black with wispy clouds. It would be full moon in a few days. The Cullens were in one of those fancy Muggle rent-a-minivans, and they all got out. "Hi," Harry greeted them. "Hello," Cedward said, aiming his greeting at Bella. She said "Hey," reluctantly.

We all started to go in. Cedward followed Bella closely. "So, what did you do all day?" he asked her, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the hook in the foyer nonchalantly. "Hung out with Jake," she said, intentionally making Cedward fume. "Oh," he said lightly. "Well, what'd you do?" he added. "Hmm… we hung Christmas lights, cooked and went outside," she answered, going into the kitchen. Cedward followed her. So did I.

"What'd you do outside?" Cedward probed. Bella was exasperated. "We just hung out. Geez, Cedward." Cedward scowled. "I just want to know what you did all day, since you're - " Bella interrupted him. "I'm not your anything. Hey, Jake, can you boil some water with magic?" she asked me. As Cedward fumed, I said, "Sure," levitated a pot over to the stove, said, "Aguamenti," into it, then "Poachify," to the water. It began to boil. "Thanks," she said, beaming at me and pouring the water into a teapot.

Cedward growled, "Don't go near her ever again," at me. I smiled. "Too bad I have my own will, and you're staying in my godfather's house. And Bella's brother's house." Cedward grinned insanely, and said, "Let's see what Harry thinks." Then he called for Harry.

Harry came in. "Yeah?" he asked, leaning on a counter composedly. Ginny came in, too, to get ice cream out of the freezer.

"Is it okay with you if Jacob… dated Bella?" Cedward asked. "Cedward!" Bella scolded, dunking a tea bag into the teapot. "Stop it! It doesn't matter what you think, Cedward! Stop. Now." Harry shrugged. "I really don't mind it. They're not really even closely related. And it's not as if they're brother and sister." "So it wouldn't be okay for me and Cedward to date," Bella said with a smile. "Not that I would want to _anyway_." "Yes, that would be a bit like incest, to be honest," my god-aunt Hermione said, walking in.


	9. Kin

Chapter 9: Kin

BellaPOV

"Hermione!" Ginny squealed, Harry said happily and Jacob shouted. "When did you get here?" Harry asked, giving her a quick hug. "Just now, with Ron and Rose," she said happily. "James let me in," she added. Ginny scowled. "I thought he'd went to bed, it's nine o' clock!" she grumbled, walking out of the kitchen to put him back in bed. "Hermione, this is my sister, Bella, and her brother, Cedward," Harry told her.

"Hi," I said with a smile. Hermione was pretty and she looked nice. She had poofy brown hair, and she was wearing plain jeans and a T-shirt with a pair of Chucks. How I wished for a nice pair of jeans, instead of these dresses and skirts. I was wearing a very impractical red skort, since skorts are at least a bit like shorts (I'd rather have shorts than these awful dresses), with a silk brown shirt. "Are you staying here over Christmas?" I asked her. "Yep," Hermione said as a tall guy that looked a bit like Ginny with red hair walked in and said, "Hey, Harry, Jacob. Who's this?" he said, acknowledging Cedward and I.

"I'm Bella," I said, pouring myself a cup of tea and offering some to everyone else nonverbally. "Harry's sister," I added when he looked confused. "Harry, you have a sister?" Ron asked, "But - " Hermione said quickly, making me realize she was very quick-witted, "She's about a year younger than him. She was adopted by the Cullens."

Ron looked at Cedward. "Hey, you look just like someone I used to know," he said. "His name was Cedric Diggory." Cedward looked at him. "Yeah, I get that a lot," he said, pouring himself a crimson glass of 'wine'. But I knew what it really was. Blood.

Hermione exited the room. I sipped my tea and Cedward left the room, gladly. No more than a minute later, Hermione reentered with an adorable little girl, Albus' age. "Who's this?" I asked cheerfully, walking over to hold the little girl. "This is Rose," Hermione said. "She's two." "Hi!" Rose said, clapping her hands.

Thirty minutes later, I was playing peek-a-boo with Rose while Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and all of the Cullens besides Cedward were sitting at the dining room table, chatting. Then I was very tired, and Rose fell asleep in my arms. I gave Rose to Jake, who was sitting up on the lounge chair in the dining room, sleeping, then I went to go to bed.

In the morning, it was very hectic. Jake and Ginny flew around the kitchen, cooking while Alice, Rosalie and Emmett played with the kids in the snow. Harry and Ron were at work. Hermione was sorting the library (she had a bookstore). Jasper was cleaning out the refrigerator to make room for what there would be at Christmas. That left me to clean the rest of the house, and Cedward sitting in his spare room, reading a book and being lazy.

So I made beds, folded laundry, scrubbed toilets, scoured the sinks, and just pretty much cleaned. But while I was doing the laundry, under a bath towel, I found my target: a pair of jeans. I felt the denim. It was soft and cuddly. I hugged them. I couldn't help but feel attached to them, no dress could ever match the greatness of these jeans. I looked around and slid them on under my nightgown. Then I found a shirt in Ginny's pile of clothed that was nice, cottony and said _The Weird Sisters _on it. I traded the nightgown for the shirt and finished doing the laundry. Then I went downstairs for lunch.

I went into the kitchen, got a "Good afternoon" from Hermione and a "Hey, hottie" from Jake, and I made a cup of tea. I was really getting addicted to British tea. It was good and strong, with plenty of caffeine. Cedward came in with a surly face, opened the refrigerator, and shouted, "Who drank my bl – wine?" "Jasper saw it in the fridge, and he thought it was going to… expire," Jake said, laughing. "Maybe you should lay off on the alcohol," I teased him. He licked his lips haughtily and said, "I'll get him back," lowly.

We ate a nice lunch of pasta and salad. As I sat down (last, I'd been waiting for my tea to strengthen) Ginny asked, "Are those my _maternity_ jeans?" Alice scowled. "Why aren't you wearing the black taffeta dress I laid out on your bed for you to wear today?" she whined. I sat down and sipped my tea. "These are really comfy!" I said. "They're _maternity_," Rosalie said. "I haven't been allowed to wear jeans since I've been here, and they fit almost perfectly," I argued. "They're only a little bit too big."

"Maternity pants?" Jacob said. "Why are you wearing those?" he asked, not having listened to the first part of the conversation. "They. Are. Really. Comfy." I said. "I love the word 'comfy'," Hermione said, waving her fork, "It's so American." "Thank you," I said. Cedward looked angry as he sipped his blood. He must have found another bottle.

Then I noticed Emmett was _eating human food_. Then I realized he was just showing off to Rosalie. Geez.

"You're wearing maternity jeans," Cedward said, squeezing his blood glass, the stem of the glass threatening to crack. "I _know_!" I said, shoveling food into my mouth to ignore everyone else. "Give me a break. They're comfy." I said. "And Alice, I hate the way you dress me. I am not Barbie." "You're Bella," Jake said. "Not Barbie." Then he said, more quietly, "You're a lot prettier than Barbie." "I know," I said, "Plastic noses don't fit me."

Everyone had a good laugh and dropped the subject of the comfy maternity jeans.

Except Cedward.

Ginny took a well-earned break and drove Jacob and I to a cobblestone parking lot in London. Jake kept complaining about Floo Powder and that I was a Squib so I technically wasn't a Muggle so we could just get to where we were going quicker (they wouldn't tell me where they were taking me), but Ginny would have none of it and said that she liked to drive.

She was a very terrifying driver.

When we got to the cobblestone parking lot, we walked to a bar, or pub, as they all called it. I protested that I was not going into a bar, or pub, or whatever, but Jake told me it was just the place we had to go, it was the entrance to the shopping village. So I held my breath and we walked in to the pub.

It was grimy and dirty, and a toothless man sat at the counter, handing creepy people dirty mugs, especially one of which I heard say "Mübth…" repetitively. A few hags sat in front of the counter, eating greasy food from dirty tin plates, and everyone there seemed slightly insane. One woman pointed at Ginny and said, "My daughter… you've come at last…"

We all hurried out the back door quickly. There was just a wall, a squared-in alleyway with trashcans and a rather patchy old silver cat eating off of the ground where a pile of meaty bones sat by the exit door. Ginny strode to the back brick wall and tapped a brick with a thin stick she took out of her pocket.

The wall transformed, the bricks shifting, looking like Tetris blocks, moving around until they settled. It was an arch. As we walked through it, Jacob said, "Welcome to Diagon Alley."

It was different than Hogsmeade; it was a whole different feeling in the air. It was excitement and anticipation for Christmas mixed with the magic feeling I'd known in Hogsmeade, but it was multiplied. People bustled around, toting large or small animals, shopping bags, and various curious objects.

"Let's take her to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes," Jacob suggested. "That sounds fun," I added to Ginny. Ginny eyed a shop with a sparkly marquee that blurted _Madam Malkin's_, and in the windows there were dresses, robes, and all types of clothing on moving mannequins. "You two go on," she said. "I need to go celebrate not being fat and pregnant and go on a shopping spree!"

So Jacob and I walked along an extensive grey road, with people walking about. It became darker and darker as we got to the more Victorian and Gothic-style shops, and then as we walked further, we saw Tudor shops and the mood lightened a bit.

Then we came upon the most packed-full part of the street of all. Jacob grinned at my expression when I saw the shop. There was purple smoke coming from a chimney, and the shop was three stories high. It was on a side street, and it was the vertice of the street, like an L. It had two entrances, and people poured in one of them, and not many people came out of the other entrance. That's when I realized one was an entrance and one was an exit.

Jake and I walked into the store. It smelled like candy, chocolate, smoke and a slightly overwhelming smell of grape.

There were gold and colorful trinkets lining the walls, and labels exclaimed _Extra Strength Love Potions_ and _Classic Magic Wands: 50% Off! _and _Free Poster with Any Purchase over 1 Galleon_. I picked up a fake wand. I said the classic kiddie-spell. "Avada Kedavra!" Jacob looked at me, horrified, as the wand turned into a chicken. "What'd I do?"

"Let me explain to you something," he said, pulling me away from a horde of teenage girls rushing to the love potions, "That is not an acceptable spell." "What?" I asked, confused. "It's the magical spell in all fairy tales."

"It's the Killing Curse, Bella," he said quietly. "It killed your parents and my parents, and the twin of my god-uncle that owns this place. Do _not ever _say that." "Okay," I said, a little embarrassed at my scolding. I felt so young, like a little child told not to wipe paint on the dog. "I'm sorry," I told Jake. "It's not your fault," he said.

After my sticky mess-up, we went upstairs where the animals were kept. I poked a few bellies of a few fuzzy bright-colored hamster things, and they squealed at the poke. As I was entertainingly poking one, I heard a voice behind me. "Don't poke them too hard, they will pop if you do."

It was a redhead man, and he looked extremely familiar. He was more muscular than Ron, but they had the same telltale hair. "You _have_ to be a Weasley," I said. "Ginny and Ron's brother?" He was extremely cute, I noticed.

"I am," he answered with a smile, turning his head. "The only one-eared Weasley out of the bunch, too, if I may add," he furthered, breaking out into a raucous, loud laugh.

And he did only have one ear. There was a clean bit of skin grown over the patch where the ear was gone. Jacob saved me from embarrassment. "Hi, George," he greeted him. "Hi, Wolfie," he said, then caught himself, realizing that maybe I didn't know about Jacob being a werewolf. "It's okay," Jacob said. "She already knows."

George broke out into a contagious grin. I could see why he ran a joke shop. "Jacob only tells those that are close to him," he said. "Jacob has a girlfriend."

We didn't deny it. Jacob just smiled nonchalantly and said, "This is Bella." "Bella," George said. "Bella… Is that Italian?" "No," I said, trying out a joke on the owner of a joke shop. He should get it. "My parents were African, from… Burkina Faso in Ouagadougou. 'Bella' means 'the white outsider' in… um… Creole." George's grin spread over his face, and he laughed deeply. When he came to, he asked what my last name was. I told him.

"Potter. It's not that common of a name here, but…" George squinted.

"She's Harry's sister," Jacob said.

George's mouth flew agape. "There is no way in the world that she could have survived, unless she's like Harry… _Two_ chosen ones…" he said, his brain stretching to find an explanation.

So Jake explained everything about me, about Cedward, about the Cullens, about the orphanage, about us… "Are you two close?" I asked them jokingly. "Best friends," George said. Jake nodded.

George gave us some fizzy stuff like buttery Coke and we sat down in the warehouse on boxes to chat. They explained to me why I couldn't say Avada Kedavra, even if I was a Squib, and I agreed to never, ever say it again.

It was dark and most of the customers had left when Ginny came through the door, adorned with bags of clothes. "George!" she said, giving her brother a hug and kiss. "I'm never going to get used to that ear," she added, patting the side of his head. "You mean, lack of ear," George corrected and laughed. It was comforting that he could joke about it. "At least it's not as horrible of a handicap as your husband's," George said to Ginny. "My little sister married a guy with a gash on his forehead for everyone to gape at." Ginny laughed. "You'll come for Christmas?" she invited George. "Christmas Eve," George said. I got the feeling he was lonely.

We got back at seven o' clock, and the sky was black. Dinner was on the table inside, though they hadn't started eating yet, and we had more guests. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, sitting at the table. Mr. Weasley was tall and lanky like Ron. Mrs. Weasley was plump but she must have been very pretty in her young days. They both had red hair.

I sat at the table, and Jacob sat beside me. Ginny sat down. We were all seated, and Mrs. Weasley looked at me kindly. "Who is this?" she asked. "I'm Bella, Harry's sister," I said uneasily. I hated attention sometimes. "Harry told us all about you," Mrs. Weasley said, and you could tell she was nice by her voice and the way she carried her words, and I was thankful no one had to explain Harry's long-lost sister. I got the feeling she was a good mother.

"Well," she said, dropping a healthy dollop of stuffing onto her thin husband's plate before adding a spoonful to her own plate, "I'm Ginny's, Ron's, George's, poor Fred's, Percy's, Charlie's and Bill's mother," she said. "And grandmother of dearie Lily, Albus, James, Rose, Victoire and Kurt," she said. "With one coming Percy and Penelope's way and another coming from Charlie and Wendy's way," Ginny added. Mrs. Weasley beamed. "Yes," she said proudly, "Children are such a blessing."

Hermione smiled too. "Another coming my way, too," she said. "I only know it's a boy." Ron grinned. "Congratulations!" Harry said. Ginny squealed. Even Rosalie said, "That's wonderful!"

But Wart-on-Chair Cedward scowled. "Filthy Mudbloods scumming up the earth with their dim-witted offspring," he said from gritted teeth. Hermione's face was aghast.

I didn't know what Mudblood meant, but it was certainly an insult to Hermione, and one to Ron, who looked extremely angry as if Cedward had just slapped his wife.

"You can leave now," I said to Cedward. He looked at me, a mixture of you're-supposed-to-let-me-do-whatever-I-want-because-I'm-better-than-all-else and maybe a bit of penitence. "Leave," I repeated. "You can come back when you can try to act normal and less like a jerk."

Everyone looked at me, but I didn't break my gaze from Cedward. This was _my family_. My family belonged to _me_, and I didn't want it messed up by the likes of Cedward Calligory.

I would not have it messed up by the likes of Cedward Calligory.

He got up and left. Jake grinned at me supportively. "You didn't have to do that," Hermione said softly. "I've been called worse." Harry looked at me. I shook my head. "You shouldn't have to put up with someone that acts like an infant."

I looked at Lily, who was bouncing on her mother's lap and looking around at everyone. "I take that back," I said. "Lily's more mature than him." I turned to Hermione again. "And I don't think your baby should be the butt of Cedward's insecurities."

Surprisingly, everyone was a lot more blithe after that. Ginny and I finished with dinner early to prepare some more spare bedrooms for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and for Charlie, Bill and Percy, her other brothers and their wives and children, who would be arriving the next day.


	10. Try As You Might

Chapter 10: Try As You Might

It was so tranquil in the house. Fires crackled in the fireplace. Mrs. Weasley took over the kitchen and made delicious meals. Ginny would work out, swearing her stomach would look like it did before Lily… whether it liked it or not. I avoided mistletoe when around Cedward, but scooted in close proximity to it when Jacob went in the vicinity of it. Of course Ginny and Harry teased us frequently, but who was to say I couldn't tease Harry for having a gash on his forehead?

Before I went to bed two days before Christmas, I sat on Alice's bed, showing Alice a clothes website with clothes I actually liked, when Cedward came in, gripping a guitar. "What are you doing here?" I demanded. "I'm about to go to bed."

He ignored me. Strike one. He started to play his guitar, standing in the middle of my room. Creeper. He hit the wrong note, and I could tell because it made a _thWANG _instead of a _bum_ noise. Then he started to sing. I ignored him some more and clicked on a link on the site that advertised acid-wash jeans.

"Love of mine, someday you will die…" Strike two. He was killing me off? "But I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark…" I didn't look at him, but searched _Grunge is dead_ in the toolbar on the website. "Blinding light, tunnels to gates of white, our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a door…" Strike three! I wasn't good at baseball, nor was I too fond of the idea of holding his cold, icy hand, so I knew it was time for him to go.

"Remove him," I told Alice imperturbably as I clicked on one of the search results. She walked up to Cedward, being tiny, and was still able to force him out the door.

"Can't stand posers," I said, removing the band Death Cab for Cutie from Alice's iTunes. I was _never_ going to listen to that band again. Cedward had ruined it for me.

Then the dummy started playing outside my door. "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark." Ugh!

I rammed the door open, but it was too late. Someone else had already taken care of the problem. Ron had his wand pointed at Cedward's throat. Cedward was pushed against the wall, his eyes darting around, terrified. "I've killed six people," Ron was threatening, though I didn't believe for one minute he had, but I went along. "I couldn't sleep," he apologized to me. "I'm not usually violent. Except when creepy people try to sing. Or Death Eaters… or McLaggen… nevermind…"

I ignored this and went back to my room, where Alice was buying me some acid-wash jeans. Two sizes too small. "I thought we were shopping for me, not you," I said, then collapsed on my bed. "They are for you!" she said. "We can both buy a pair and be cutie matchers." I groaned. "We can wear them on _different_ days," I said. "No, we can't," she growled, ferociously clicking the _Add to Cart_ button on the screen while glaring at me.

"So," she said, grinning largely. "Why don't you like Cedward?" I looked at her. "He's a jerk," I said to her. She raised an eyebrow. "You think so?" "Yep," I told her, pulling a pillow over my face. "He's a jerk that's full of himself and doesn't know how to appreciate anyone and he's fat." Alice looked at me with a confused expression. "Vampires don't get fat," she said. "Well," I droned sarcastically, "How did Cedward Calligory fall through the gap?"

Alice suffered a fit of laughter. I had to shove a pillow over her head and it began a pillow fight… and ended with me in the emergency room at four o' clock in the morning, getting my arm put into a cast.

"I am so sorry," Alice kept telling me. "I am so, so, so sorry. If I had foreseen this, I wouldn't have even said anything to make you want me to shut up." "And I wouldn't have said anything about Cedward's vamp – fat," I said as the doctor (he had oddly unfocused eyes that were cloudy) wrapped up my arm.

He said in a very British accent to Alice, "Would you please leave? I am distracted." Alice scowled and left to sit in the hallway where Carlisle and Harry sat. Carlisle had driven us to the emergency room, and Hermione had come, with the excuse of needing to check on her father who was in the hospital after a stroke. It was surprising to me. I didn't think wizards and witches could get strokes. On second thought, I didn't even know if Hermione's parents were a wizard and witch, or if it were possible for them not to be.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor proclaimed, "There you are. Just sit tight for a little while now, and I'll be back in a jiffy." I looked at the clock. It was twenty-three after four. The doctor left the room and I saw Alice peek in the window, look around, and her head disappeared again. It was very comical because she looked like an elf breaking into Santa's factory or something, what with the Christmassy green-and-red bow in her short hair. Hermione also entered.

Alice paraded in and sat down in the doctor's swivelly chair. She spun around in it, shouting for joy. "Alice!" I hissed. "Contain your behavior." She scowled. "It's not my fault you're in the hospital," she said. I looked at her angrily. "You were just apologizing to me twenty minutes ago!" I said. She scowled.

Hermione walked over to me. "You know, Bella… I could just fix your arm with magic." My eyes widened. "Really?" I asked, surprised. But I was uncertain. "I've healed broken bones before," she told me. I shook my head. "No thanks," I murmured. I didn't want anything to go wrong. Hermione looked at me, amused. "I won't force you," she said. "But I have a feeling you'll want me to fix it later." I shrugged. Hermione went to go get something to drink for her mother.

I fell asleep in the chair, and was woken by the doctor. Alice was gone, I noted. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "I thought the nurse had already dismissed you…" I looked at the clock. It was seven o' clock in the morning. I had been asleep for three hours! British doctors… grr.

Out in the car, Alice was admiring my bright lime green cast. "I'm going to draw red baubles on it," she declared. I rolled my eyes. I was extremely tired of Alice… why was she always annoying me?

Carlisle said, "You know, Bella, I'm a doctor and I could have just fixed your arm…" I sighed. "Then why did Alice insist that I have to go to the emergency room?" Alice looked out the window at the snowy landscape, pointedly ignoring my question.

When we got back, Charlie, Bill and Percy were there. I knew Bill already, but Charlie and Percy were new. Percy was a lot like Ron, since he was tall, but he was thin like a toothpick. (I'm exaggerating.) Charlie was like Bill and George in that he had a shorter but less toothpicky build.

Fleur I had the unfortunate circumstances of already meeting her, as were the circumstances of me meeting her now, since she was very angering in that she was talking about how much she liked someone that had looked just like Cedward. I overheard Harry saying to Ron and Hermione, "Yeah, except that Cedric had less of a pudgy stomach." Everyone laughed, all except for the surly Cedward that sat on the lounge sofa in the dining room, typing away on his laptop, as we ate breakfast.

Mrs. Weasley had magically expanded the table so everyone would fit. Five highchairs sat in a corner, facing each other, and all of the babies threw grapes at one another. Rosalie held Lily in her lap, cooing reassuredly. Emmett was talking with Charlie; they struck up a friendship at once. Esme and a woman I didn't know with brown hair and a plain but sweet face that proved to be Wendy, Charlie's wife, talked animatedly. Everyone was joined in merriment.

"Where's George?" Mrs. Weasley asked the general audience of the table, worry lines crossing her forehead. "He said he'd be coming tomorrow, Christmas Eve," Jacob said. Mrs. Weasley's forehead smoothed again. "Oh, that business keeps him single and working all the time," Mrs. Weasley said, emphasizing the phrase 'all the time' with a clatter of her spoon on her plate for each word.

Breakfast was fun. At first I didn't eat much because of my cast. It was big and bulky and I knocked over Jacob's pumpkin juice with it. Finally, I asked Hermione, who sat across from me with Harry and Ron, "Can you just fix it?" She smiled largely and laughed. "Sure," she said, taking out her wand and pointing at me. I closed my eyes tightly and gritted my teeth for a full thirty seconds. Then everyone started laughing. "Aren't you going to fix it?" I asked Hermione. "Aren't you going to take your cast off?" Jacob asked me.

Then I realized Hermione had healed my arm and I didn't even notice. I laughed. Jacob crushed the cast with his hands, and once it was mutilated enough, slid it off. Mr. Weasley looked at the cast interestedly. "May I?" he asked Jacob, reaching over for the cast. Mrs. Weasley gave him a stern look. "I told you once, Arthur, I'll tell you again!" she shouted. I could see why her grown children were now so disciplined. "No Muggle artifacts until you clean out the shed of everything!"

After breakfast, all of the Cullens left for a hunting expedition, though they told everyone it was for last-minute Christmas shopping. Victoire followed Jacob and I around. It was rather exasperating, if you were to ask me. It was chilly and snowy outside, so I made hot chocolate and everyone sat down and played Wizarding chess. It was very entertaining. At first, Mrs. Weasley thought I shouldn't play since it was a bit violent, and I was a Muggle, but Harry pointed out that I was technically a Squib and it wouldn't hurt me to play.

So I played chess with everyone in the fourth-floor game room that doubled as a ballroom, what with its marble flooring and dramatic drapes hugging the windows. The drapes were grey and the walls white; the marble on the floor being a base of grey and spotted with the latter. The whole room was coordinated in these colors, and it was very bleak, but calming.

Lounges sat about the room, in front of the windows and the huge fireplace, which roared with a cackling and merry fire. Chess tables of marble were scattered in the room, and there were six of them, with elegant chairs on each end and four for each chess table; two for players and equally two for spectators. A long bar sat along one wall, complete with a pleasing-to-the-eye kitchen: a sink, refrigerator, even a draped highchair, where little Albus sat sleeping after Ginny declared she needed a nap.

I was pretty tired, too, but then I drank some coffee. It was extremely strong – and extremely helpful to my energy. Soon I was playing chess with everyone as I would if I had had adequate sleep the previous night.

I beat Jacob in chess, and Harry called over from where he sat with Ron and Hermione, "Dominated him, Bells?" I nodded, smiling. "Murdered him." Jacob sheepishly got up to go get some water from the sink by the bar.

Ginny came upstairs. "We're going to go see a play," she announced. Harry looked at her. "Are you serious? Last year…" he asked uncertainly. "Who cares that the curtains caught fire during the overture?" My eyes widened. "Oh, come now, it'll be great fun."


	11. Hogwarts

Chapter Eleven: Hogwarts

As a result of this, I went downstairs and changed into one of the gowns Alice had brought for me (I was told it was a formal event). There was a very large selection since there were only a few things that weren't dress-related. So I chose a crimson dress with a white bow that went around the bodice with a bit of holly at the knot. It was strapless, but it was modest enough. I went downstairs, and Hermione came to me for help. She looked at my dress. "Do you have any other nice dresses… like that?" she said, pointing at my dress. "More than I would like to have," I told her.

Hermione looked through my packed closet with me. She selected one that was long and swathed with beautiful diaphanous gossamer, with an elegant jealous color. She told me, "I'm glad Cedward's not coming," as she pinned her hair up with a pearl clip. "So am I," I admitted. "Why is he so surly?" she asked me, scowling at a bit of hair that went astray. I told her the truth. "I used to like him," I said, with the air of admitting an unpleasant fact. Hermione half-smiled.

"So did every single girl in our school before he became a vampire and while everyone thought he was alive," she told me. I gasped.

I was surprised for a number of reasons. First of all, she knew Cedward was a vampire. Second of all, she knew Cedward as a human?

"He used to be Cedric Diggory," she explained, abandoning her hair and letting it flow loose. "He used to go to our school. He was 'killed' - " she used finger quotations – "and he turned into a vampire… and Cedward. Maybe 'Edward' had some meaning to him, so he chose to mix that name."

"How did you know?" I asked her. Hermione smiled, taking a bottle of stuff off of the bathroom counter and squirted a generous amount into her hair. "I was, and still am, best friends with Harry and Ron all through school. We were always the ones to get in trouble. I was always known as the smartest girl at school, and Harry was the best one at defense. And he was… Harry Potter… and…" I didn't understand. "Harry Potter has special privileges," she told me. "People felt bad for him, and he was a bit insecure, always. Your brother is a very good person, Bella, but he was spoiled somewhat."

She saw me about to explode with laughter, but she added, "And you won't go telling anyone I told you, and that doesn't mean he didn't have some subtle disadvantages. Such as a lot of people jealous of him, a lot of girls prattling after him and trying to send him love potions, and a lot of people hating him for being Harry Potter, the Chosen One."

I had no idea what 'the Chosen One' really meant, but I let her go on. "And Ron… he was always Harry and my best friend, though I used to get mad at him a lot for being stupid." She had said 'styoopid.' I hid a laugh. She continued, "He always used to have a quick temper, and at times he was extremely jealous of Harry. Ron thought that I liked Harry, but I never did." She cast her eyes down, pausing over the sink.

"Ron went out with a girl… Lavender Brown…" Hermione said through gritted teeth, as if uttering a curse. Her knuckles were white, clenched over her hairbrush as she waited for the hair stuff to soak into her hair. I let her continue. "Harry helped me through…" Hermione chuckled. "It was at the time when Harry started liking Ginny, and she was going out with some other guy. So we both knew the pain. I mean, Harry never _said_ he liked her then, but I knew it." Hermione said, "Ron liked me, a bit, after he broke up with Lavender, but he was too much of a wimp and I was waiting for him to ask me out… How I wished," Hermione said airily, brushing her hair now, her hair becoming straight and pretty, "that maybe, if Ron were more courageous, like Harry, he could just _ask me out_…"

We both laughed. Hermione shook her hair out and let it fall around her shoulders. It contrasted from her usual hair. It was usually frizzy and drab; now it was shiny and straight. "It looks great," I told her. We went out to the foyer, where Ginny was putting James' little shoes on him. Harry was trying to convince Ginny to let Albus go barefoot.

"No, no, no!" Ginny shrieked. "This is a very formal event! We can't just let him go off barefoot wherever we go, especially not here! Harry, it's _Hogwarts_ we're talking about," she said, pushing black shoes onto James' tiny feet, which had grey argyle socks on them already. Harry sighed, opening the coat closet and withdrawing two little shoes out from it and shoved the shoes on Albus' feet.

Soon we were all ready to go. "We're taking the King's Cross train," Ron told me. "It usually takes the students, but the students aren't in school right now, so it'll take the parents and siblings there… and whoever else likes to go." Hermione piped in. "Hogwarts just started hosting Christmas plays again last year, and the tickets are hard to get."

Ginny grinned, picking James up from the marble floor. "Not for us, because _my_ husband's Harry Potter. And we can get all the tickets we want." She removed a hair from James' shirt, and added airily, "Free."

JacobPOV

The Potters and, of course, I, got into the minivan. I put Lily in her backwards car seat and buckled her in while Bella put Albus in his seat, and Ginny put James in his seat. Then Bella and I got in the van, and we watched Ron and Hermione get into their van with Rose and all of the other relatives. But Mr. and Mrs. Weasley weren't going since they were going to watch the house for when the vampires got back, so they could open the door for them.

Like any one of them couldn't just break it down and put it back up neatly and quickly. Sheesh.

It was a relaxing car ride. I love noontime rides in a stylish British minivan, wearing an Alice-y dress with a very cute boyfriend at your side. We talked about magic and had a conversation about why I was a Squib. We came up with crazy explanations, such as that my mother went on a magic fast while she was pregnant, so I was born with no magic in me, or maybe that Harry got all of the magic and none was left for me.

We got to King's Cross station at about two o'clock. It was a very large station, and Harry and Ginny were having an animated discussion about whether or not I was going to be able to get through the 9 ¾ barrier, whatever that was. "Well," Harry finally said, "We'll just play it by ear."

Harry parked in the huge lot, and paid a small parking fee. We all got out of the car, and I was pleased to see that the Weasleys had gotten to the station at the same time as us. We were parked right beside them.

Harry held Albus, Ginny held Lily, Hermione held Rose and Ron held James. We walked into the train row, or whatever it was supposed to be called. Hermione peeked at her watch. "We've got thirty minutes," she stated.

Jacob and I walked around. He explained to me the 9 ¾ barrier and pointed it out to me. I hoped I would be able to make it into the barrier.

I was surprised to see people staring at us. I knew I was dressed formally, but I didn't feel weird or like an outsider. I felt like I was in the right niche, with Jacob. That was where I was supposed to be, and no odd stares could ever change that. I swept around in my dress, feeling like a Christmas princess.

We went back to the platform 9 ¾, and the rest of the Potters were waiting there. "Jacob," Ginny said, "Why don't you go through the barrier first? With Bella?"

So we inconspicuously leaned against the barrier and sank through it. It was so peculiar;

"It worked!" I shrieked on the other side. "I got through!"

"Er, Bella," Jacob said. "Move away from the wall."

I quickly did and was glad of it: I was going to have been fallen on by Harry, who materialized on the other side of the barrier with Albus in hand.

And I was so not ready for people to start talking about him. I heard "He's holding his son!" "Is that Harry Potter?" "Can't be, Rita Skeeter wrote he's on another honeymoon with his fourteenth wife - " "He got married _again_? He must be cheating on all his new wives, I only ever see him with Ginny Weasley…" "There's his new wife, probably, there! In the red dress!" And they were talking about _me!_

I proved them wrong by spontaneously planting a kiss on Jacob.

The crowd started murmuring again. "Nevermind. Can't be his new wife… the girl must be Harry's godson's girlfriend." They got that right.

I didn't know Harry was this famous. And he had some pretty heavy (and untrue) gossip going around about him, too. Poor Harry.

The train was mostly empty when we got on, except for a few families that stared at Harry as if he were the queen of England. We took up the whole back of the train, the only part without compartments that was usually saved for latecomers to the train. But our party was so large that we had to use the whole entire thing.

I fell asleep during the train ride, so I didn't rally get to sightsee or enjoy the ride. I knew we'd leave by the train too, so why deal with two train rides when you only really had to deal with one?

I woke up by James squealing, and I knew we were there. It was extremely exciting. I looked out the window.

A huge castle sat on a large mountainous hill. A calm and vast river surrounded it on one side, and the peak of the sun's rays burdened on the water. It glinted off, spraying the surroundings with light. A field with hoops was on a meadow under the mountain with the castle, and a small hut was in the meadow, too, with a garden. As the train moved, I could take in more qualities from more angles – such as the fact that behind the hut in the meadow was a large, dark forest.

Then I really looked at the castle. It was pre-Medieval, and some type of style of architecture I hadn't ever seen; yet it was regal and proper, and very _magical._ It was made of shale in some areas and stone in other parts, and there were dysfunctional yet fitting dormers on the tall towers. There were qualities that served for multiple purposes; a courtyard that had barracks that were strangely elegant; long, narrow windows that could serve as an opening to shoot arrows – or spells, in these magic folk's circumstance.

The pond beside the castle had various flora, things I had never seen before. A huge willow tree was a few yards away from it, its huge arms looking menacing. "I have to stay there a lot," Jacob told me, pointing to the tree. "Whenever I'm a werewolf. There's a secret place under there, but it's creepy. There's a ghost there, of a greasy-haired guy. Snake or Snare or something…" "You have to stay _there_?" I asked him, surprised. "I thought…"

"Everyone thinks _something_ about werewolves that isn't true, just like how people think things about the _Politicians_ that isn't true," he said. I laughed, getting the joke. I had taken Spanish, not Latin, but I knew enough to know that _Poly_ in Latin meant _many_ and _Tics_ meant _many bloodsucking creatures._ Jacob and I shared the same humor.

I looked back at the castle. There were huge doors on one side of the castle, shut. I couldn't wait to go through them.

The magic-filled feeling I'd had in Hogsmeade wasn't as great as this, nor was the Diagon Alley euphoria that had been the result of a lot of magic surrounding me.

But this… this was better. It was excitement filled with yearning to be here always, mixed with that only-from-magic feeling. Like knowledge that there was something more than our electricity and Muggle ways… like there was another world hidden away from ours. Secluded yet so close by… it was magic. It pulsed through the air like heat, but conducted from another source. Maybe it was just me.

The train unloaded us. There were a lot of passengers on the train. We waited outside for the doors to open, and when they did, the magic feeling multiplied itself by ten. And I thought it was as good as it could get…

Jacob and I went in, following Harry, who was carrying Albus, and Ginny, who was carrying Lily and grasping James' hand. It was so cute, the perfect family.

"Jacob!" I heard someone hiss. Jake looked at the direction of the noise and grabbed my hand as we stopped. His hand was about two hundred degrees.

The crowd poured around us. "What?" Jacob said to the general vicinity.

A boy with brown hair walked over. He looked to be about Jacob's age. "Who'd you come with?" he asked in a Scottish accent. "Don't beat around the bush," Jake said, smiling. "Camben, this is Bella. Bella, Camben." "Hi," I said. Camben's eyes were black. "Hi." He grinned wildly.

"This your girlfriend, Jacob? Did'ja show her one of the morph things you do with your face or summat?" I said, "Or something. A vampire was after me, so Jacob saved me from certain death by door, nosebleed and Cedward."

Camben didn't get it, but he quickly made a witty remark. "I'd be more afraid of death by werewolf, but that's just me…" So Camben knew Jake was a werewolf.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Merle, the crowd is overtaking you. Run along." An old woman with sharp eyes and a pointy black hat looked at them. "Yes, Headmaster," Jacob said, taking my arm to leave. "Yes, Professor McGonagall," Camben said, disappearing into the crowd.

Jacob and I followed the rest of the procession toward two big doors that stood on the other side of the castle. We passed two sets of huge stairs made of marble. "That's new," Jacob announced, pointing to one of the sets of stairs. "It's been broken for a few years, and they finally get around to fixing it… I tried _Reparo_ myself once, but it never worked…" I had no idea what he was talking about but I let it go.

We made into the Great Hall. The ceiling looked like the sky. It was black, blacker than night, but that wasn't the odd thing. It had a purple haze to it, just there, but almost not there. Candles bobbed above our heads, illuminating the huge hall with a slightly dim glow. Long rows of velvety seats were in front of a raised platform of the most highly polished cherry wood. A long curtain draped over the platform. In front of the seats were long tables, and no seats had their backs to the stage.

Harry waved at us, already sitting at our table. It was at the very front. Jacob and I made our way to it, and he sat on the corner of the table. I sat by him, and Albus was propped up in his chair with a determined look on his face as he tried to bend a rattle he held on the other side of me.

People were coming over to talk to Harry and Ginny and admire the children. A peculiarly dressed woman, about Ginny's age, came over and looked at the children with a floaty gaze. She had blonde hair and wore eye-blindingly red robes, with what looked like chili pepper earrings. She said to Ginny in a dazed voice, "You should hide that rattle while Albus sleeps. He looks quite fond of it, and I'd hate to see it stolen by Nargles."

Harry grinned. "Found any Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, Luna?" "No," Luna said. "But my father is on the trail of one again, since he can't find the horn that he had." Hermione sighed, "I've told you once, I'll say it again, it was an Erumpent horn!" "No," Luna said. "It wasn't."

A man wearing lavender – yes, lavender – robes came up to our table. "Hello, Daddy," Luna said. "Did you get our seats?" "Yes, come along, Luna," he said, his eyes warped; one staying in place and the other drifting off to the corner of his eye. He blinked and the drifty eye came back to the middle where it was supposed to be, and then drifted again. He looked at Harry, Ron and Hermione and turned red. "Hello, Xenophilius," Harry grinned, and I had the feeling that he was tormenting the old man. Xenophilius looked at him and hurried away, holding Luna's arm.

Harry smirked. "Luna's father betrayed us," he explained to me.

Hermione looked angry. "He never apologized… and he never admitted it was an Erumpent horn," she fumed, sitting in one of the velvety chairs. "Hermione, we all know it was an Erumpent horn," Ron sighed.

"Well, _they_ won't. And if they get hold of one again, they'll most likely blow up their house again. And they've got a new house after Luna and Dean's wedding, so I'd feel bad for them," Hermione growled.

I tuned out, not wanting to worry about houses blowing up. We all talked for a few more minutes excitedly, then the woman that had told Jacob and Camben to hurry along went up to the front to speak, in front of the curtain. The candles dimmed a bit.

"It is a pleasure to see you all here tonight, some of you my former students, some current students, and some parents of students," she said clearly. I noticed that she didn't include my circumstances. I smirked.

She continued. "I am the headmaster of Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall, and I welcome you to our school. Hogwarts has seen a great number of talented students, gifted professors, but perhaps one of the wittiest was Professor Herbert Beery. He put together plays for the school to show, and always they ended with chaos." A faint titter washed through the audience.

"This year, we will be putting on a play about three witches, a Muggle knight, and a fountain," she announced. A few people cheered. "Please enjoy the acting and the feast. Let the feast begin!"

I was aghast when food appeared on plates across the table and there were plates, knives, forks, spoons and goblets in front of us. Jacob wasn't surprised. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be surprised or not. Everyone started getting his or her food. I looked at Ginny. "When's the play going to start?" I asked her. "In about ten minutes," she answered, putting food on a plate for Albus and passing it to him before getting her own.

I took a plate of roast chicken and put it on my plate, then added some pudding – though it wasn't what I thought was pudding. Jacob told me that American pudding was different, and that British pudding was like bread, kind of. "And that's blood pudding."

"Blood? Real blood?" I asked, looking at the pudding. It looked… not like blood. It had a pinkish tinge. "Not a lot, but a little," Jacob said. "I don't like it." So I put it on the plate beside me, and it happened to be Albus'. He was just eating chicken.

"More chicken, Bella? Please?" he said, looking up at me with his begging green eyes. I smiled. "Okay," I said and gave him more.

I got all of my food that I would eat during the play, and it looked great. I stayed away from anything that Jacob told me had liver or kidneys – or blood. My plate was full of food such as smoked salmon, pumpkin bread, au gratin potatoes, and a lot of other stuff too.

Then the curtains swept open.


	12. Unsuspecting

Chapter Twelve: Unsuspecting

I was taken aback. It was amazing. The set of the stage was amazing. It looked like a real place.

A fountain, a gorgeous golden fountain, stood in the middle of the stage, surrounded by trees, bushes, flowers, and various flora. But the fountain stood out the most.

"High on a hill in an enchanted garden," a voice said, but the speaker was not seen, "enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the Fountain of Fair Fortune."

The curtains closed, but the voice kept speaking.

"Once a year, between the hours of sunrise and sunset on the longest day, a single unfortunate was given the chance to fight their way to the Fountain, bathe in its waters, and receive fair fortune forevermore," the voice continued.

The curtains opened again.

A crowd was surrounding the entrance to a garden. It was still dark outside. The people were chattering nervously amongst themselves. The loudest voices were three women.

One woman introduced herself to another. "I, Asha, and I will unquestionably be the one chosen to bathe in the fountain. No Healer can cure my sickness!"

Another witch snickered. "Pfft! No, I, Altheda, will be the one chosen. I have been robbed by a wicked sorcerer of everything I own."

The other witch shook her head. "Your problems do not compare to mine. I, Amata, will never recuperate. My heart is broken, and it can only be fixed by the Fountain of Fair Fortune."

"All of our troubles are horrible," Asha agreed. "If we can, shall we try to reach the fountain together?" Amata suggested. Altheda nodded. "We shall, with the hope we will all be able to be cleansed of our tribulations."

A bit of light began on the stage. A sliver in the wall revealed itself.

Huge worms – I couldn't tell if they were fake – wrapped themselves around each of the women, and they screamed. One of them – Amata - grabbed on to the leg of a skinny knight atop a horse, and dragged him with them. They disappeared into the crack in the wall.

The curtains closed again.

I looked down at my plate. I hadn't eaten anything since the play was so interesting, so I started to eat. The food was really yummy.

I was chewing some salmon when the curtains opened again, revealing the four of the actors trying to walk up a hill.

The hill kept growing higher and higher as they went up – by some magic. "Shouldn't we be there yet?" Altheda groaned. "Only a bit more to go," Amata gasped.

For a long time they kept walking up the hill, and I could tell the actors were getting tired. I knew it was part of the show – now was when we were supposed to pay attention to our food. I took a bite of the chicken. It wasn't cold, warm as when I had taken it off of the serving dish.

Finally I noticed some action on stage. "Pay me the proof of your pain," one of the same worms said, slithering up to them. It was huge and white.

Sir Luckless tried to kill the worm with his sword.

In short, it didn't work.

Light poured in brighter and brighter onto the stage. Asha cried, "I must get to the fountain!" Tears rolled down her cheeks. Drama, drama. The worm slithered over and drank her tears.

The worm crawled into a hole and disappeared.

"It's gone!" Amata rejoiced. "We are ridden of the worm!" Altheda declared. "We can certainly reach the fountain now," Asha said. "We must be getting there soon!" Sir Luckless stated.

An ugly, white, monstrous and creepy worm appeared. "Pay me the proof of your pain," it hissed, in a way that much reminded me of a croaky toad.

Sir Luckless attempted to cut himself with his sword. The worm just laughed at him.

"Look at the sun!" Asha wail. "We will never get there in time!" She began to sob.

I almost threw up when the slimy worm licked her cheeks and slithered away.

They walked quickly for another minute, and then stopped. The words: "Pay me the fruit of your labors," were carved into the grassy area on the hill. It was large and readable.

Sir Luckless took out a coin. He dropped it. "Dimwit!" Altheda shouted. She quickened her pace in her fury, and wiped the sweat off of her forehead dramatically.

The words in the hill disappeared, and the curtains closed.

Jacob helped himself to seconds of the food. I was still on firsts.

I finished the rest of my casserole, and the curtains opened again.

The fountain lay sparkling at was supposed to be the top of the hill. It was a large, curved grassy plain. But Amata, Altheda, Asha and Sir Luckless could not get to the top of the hill. There was a stream blocking their way.

Amata shrieked, "Look!" She picked up a rock from the bottom of the pool and read aloud, "Pay me the treasure of your past."

"Enough of this!" Sir Luckless cried, and tried to float across the stream, sitting on top of his shield.

The audience laughed as it sank. Jacob guffawed behind me and whispered, "I know that kid… he's in my Transfiguration class - " How did Jacob _think_ I knew what Transfiguration was? " – he's a real pain in the butt. He's never going to forget falling into _that_ stream…"

Amata cried, "Aha!" (I figured she would've cried Eureka, but this was Britain, not California…) and she took her wand out. She put the tip to her forehead and brought the tip to the stream, a thin line of silver following the wand tip down…

"What's she doing?" I whispered to Jake. "She's removing all the memories of her lost lover and then she's going to fall in - " "Shh! Don't give it all away! Now I know she's going to fall in the stream!" I hissed back.

"That's not what I meant…" he started, wolfing down a buttered biscuit. I smiled and continued watching the pantomime.

By now they were all across the stream. Asha was lying on the ground, panting. "I cannot go any farther," she said. "I am dying."

"But of course you can! I'll… I'll do something to save you!" Altheda said quickly and mindlessly. "No… please don't touch me…" Asha begged. But Altheda ran around collecting flowers and sticking them in a gourd she had taken from Sir Luckless anyway, then she made Asha drink it. "Oh, it must work, it must!" Altheda kept saying.

Asha stood at once. "I am cured!" she shouted. "I don't need to bathe in the waters of the Fountain! I am healed! Let Altheda bathe in the fountains; she saved me."

Altheda was too busy, apparently, collecting all of the flowers around the fountain. "If I was able to cure the incurable, then think how much gold I could make! Let Amata bathe!"

Sir Luckless gestured to the water. "Go on!"

"No," Amata said. "I've forgotten about my old lover! He was cruel and no good! Let Sir Luckless bathe!"

So Sir Luckless splashed into the water, and stayed under for quite awhile, causing murmuring in the crowd. Jacob said under his breath, "I hope they cast the Bubble-Head spell wrong… Die, Sir Luckless!"

I took this ten-minute interval to eat. I was impressed my food was still warm. Still!

I finished all of the food on my plate and then all of the food on all of the tables disappeared. I was startled, then I had to pretend not to be when desserts reappeared where the dinner had been.

I help myself to some Treacle Tart… as Jake called it… and it was really good. A little bit sour but with something in it that was delicious. Harry had it piled on his plate, and Albus was taking handfuls of it off of the dish. I helped him. Maybe we all had the same gene to like Treacle Tart.

Suddenly, Sir Luckless emerged from the water with a great whoop. And he flew feet into the air and landed at the feet of Amata.

They looked at each other, and she helped him up. He kissed her. (In the audience, hundreds of young children's voices rang out, "Ewwwww!")

The narrator's voice said: "So, the four of them went back, arm in arm - " and so they did " – and never suspected there had never actually been any magic in that fountain in the first place."

And so we clapped – Jake clapped, celebrating that it was over; I clapped because it was good, and everyone else clapped too. Except for Albus. He was intent on his treacle tart.


	13. Avada Kedavra

Chapter Thirteen: Train Ride

Jake and I walked behind the rest of the Potters and Weasleys as we made our way back to the train. It was almost dark outside.

Ugh. I HATE twilight. (LOL)

As we were going out the doors of the castle, I told Jake, "I'm not going back to the States." "What?" he asked. "How can you _not_? You were adopted, Bella."

"I was, but… I _am_ eighteen. I don't have to live with them. I don't want to. I mean, I love Carlisle and Esme and Alice and Jasper and Emmett… _not_ so much Rosalie… and I'd rather live with Harry and Ginny and the kids... than have to deal with _Cedward_…" I said scornfully. "The house there is so boring. The most exciting things that happen are… that it rains a lot… and sometimes Alice paints my nails…"

Jacob laughed. "I believe you, Bella. Talk to Harry, Ginny, Carlisle and Esme about it first. You can't just ditch them."

"I can't just ditch you," I said, crossing my arms as we stepped onto the train. "Who wants to go back to the rainiest place in the United States, who wants to go back to the _Cullens'_… when I can be here, Jake? Do you understand how much I love it here? I could stay here forever… and ever. I never want to leave."

"Do you realize what you're saying?" Jake said. "You want to give up your family, the Cullens' mansion… they do have a mansion, right?... and _America_? For this?"

"First," I answered him as we went to the back of the train, following the herd of Potters and Weasleys, "My family is _here._ Second, I thought I just made clear that there is nothing to do at the Cullens' mansion, and what rock have you been sleeping under for the past year and a half? Sorry to break it to you, honey, but America isn't doing so hot, politically _or _economically." Jake rolled his eyes. "Here we go, Bella's political rant…"

"I do _not_ go on political rants," I said, giving him The Look.

He grinned. "Do too."

I sighed. "Okay. Maybe I do, but that doesn't mean diddly squat!"

Jacob guffawed. "_Diddly squat_… god, I love you, Bella!" He hugged me. I noticed his skin was way too hot. I was disappointed. Tomorrow he'd probably be transformed into a werewolf, and he wouldn't be able to be around me.

I tried to act mad again about the political stuff, but the anger just wouldn't come back. We finally reached the end of the train, and we sat down.

"Jake, it's settled. I'm staying here," I told him.

"Okay," he said. "But don't say that I told you that you had to," he reminded me as the train began letting off steam.

The train went rolling, making the noises that so excited James and made Lily whimper. Albus was asleep in Hermione's lap while Rose played with Hermione's car keys.

I looked at the children sleeping and playing and felt a wave of hatred toward Cedward. How could he so dislike such innocent little creatures?

Jacob stood up beside me suddenly. I had been on the verge of falling asleep. So much for that earlier nap… I took his hand. "What's up, Jake?" I asked him sleepily.

Jacob looked toward Harry. "It's early," he said with meaning.

"No!" Harry gasped.

"This can't be happening," Ginny said, standing up fast and jerkily. Hermione looked up and gave the children to Ron, who was sleeping.

"Is he trans - " she started, but with one meaningful nod from Harry she knew. And I knew.

"We've got to get him off the train," Hermione said powerfully.

"How?" Ginny asked, her face white.

Harry stood. "I'll go run and tell the conductor."

Hermione put her hand up. "Wait, Harry. Jacob, do you have any Wolfsbane with you? We can try and delay it…"

"No," Jacob said. But his voice was so much… gristlier, like Chris Cornell's. But more _animal, _even more raw than the singer's. "I've got to jump."

Hermione vigorously shook her head. "The train is moving too fast. With this velocity… you'll be little more than…" She stopped, looking at me.

What was wrong? Why couldn't Jake turn into a werewolf here? What was the harm?

Hermione was in control. "Harry, go tell the conductor. Hurry. Bill… you're part werewolf…" Harry took off, running.

Bill scratched his eyelid. "Funny in such a dire situation? This is dangerous, we could all be killed."

Jake moaned. "I can't! This can't be happening!" he said lowly.

"What do you mean, we could all be killed?" I demanded of Bill. "Jacob could never hurt anyone."

"Bella, you don't understand. Werewolves, when they're animal, don't think like humans. They think _kill,_" Bill told me.

I understood. But it only broke my heart. "Jacob, you can't hurt anyone. I know you won't."

Jake looked at me. He looked more animal in his eyes, but those eyes still had the soul of Jacob in them. "Bella, if worst comes to worst…"

"Jacob, no… nothing will happen…" I stammered as his arm hair and stubble started to increase.

"In case worst comes to worst…" he continued, squinting in pain and inhaling deeply, "I love you, Bella, and don't forget me…"

I shook my head. "Jacob, it's okay…" I wrapped my arms around him, but he didn't hug me back. He stood there, shaking. I looked up and saw that he was crying. "Jacob…"

"I love you, Bella," he repeated as he went on all fours and arched his back in pain. He was so scary, and it was as if he was wearing a costume.

The children were screaming, and there was quite a crowd.

"I love you, Bella!" he raised his voice, which was so much like a bear mixed with a grunge singer's voice that it was creepy.

"I love you, Jacob," I said as he took out his wand from his pocket of his jeans, which were bulging from his legs and ankles becoming those of a wolf.

He pointed the wand towards himself.

"Jacob? What are you doing!" Hermione shrieked.

"Jacob?" Bill asked.

"Jake?" I whispered.

"I love you, Bella!" he shouted, not in his voice. Someone – something – else's.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" he roared.

I fell to my knees. "JACOB!" I cried. "Jacob…"

And the train screamed to a stop.


	14. Regrets, Wishes, Utter Guilt

Chapter Fourteen: Regrets, Wishes, Utter Guilt

HarryPOV

No one can feel as much guilt as I do for not running just a bit faster.

I kept telling myself, "If I just ran a little faster," or "If I hadn't listened to Hermione and had just left while she was asking Jake about the Wolfsbane potion," and "If I had told Ginny it was a bad night to go to a pantomime," and everything like that. I even talked to myself as I dunked a bag of tea into the hot water in my favorite teacup, but Ginny caught me muttering to myself like a schizo.

"It's _not_ your fault, Harry. You need to start feeling sorry for Bella, not yourself," she scolded.

It hit pretty close to home, so I went up to go see my sister.

I knocked on the door. "Bells? It's Harry," I said quietly. The door swung open. Bella stood there in fancy pajamas – her fashionista sister Alice had dressed her since Bella had no will to do anything– and her mascara bled down her face. I gave my little sister a consoling hug.

"I loved him," she said. "It's not fair, I loved him," she repeated, then her hands tightened on my back in rage. She let go of me and her face was red and livid with anger. She huffed. "I loved Jacob, and he was taken from me!" she yelled. I heard Lily start crying.

I sat on Bella's bed. "I'm going to tell you a story," I told her. She nodded and sat by me. "About our mother." She looked up in interest.

"There was a man named Severus Snape," I said. She gave a watery grin. "I know, he was a real greasy-haired… er, professor. But there was something special about him. He loved our mother."

"And?" Bella asked.

"And she… didn't love him back. They were friends, best friends, though. And our dad was really mean to Snape because he was jealous that Snape got to spend so much time with our mum. And Snape hated our father for it."

Bella wasn't crying. She wiped her eyes.

"But then… Snape slipped up. Called our mother something he shouldn't have."

She looked at me quizzically. "Mudblood?"

I looked at her quizzically this time. "How did you know what that is?" Bella shrugged. "I heard Cedward calling Hermione and the children that name… on multiple occasions."

Ugh. That vampire… I involuntarily cracked my knuckles.

"Well, it means 'Muggle-born.' As in a person that can do magic, but they had Muggle parents," I told her. "It's a very, very mean term. I knew a snotnose that called Hermione that in first year… he really got it from her later… a nice slap on that pallid stupid face of his…" I laughed again.

"Well, anyway, our mum got mad at Snape and married our dad. And had me. Then you. Snape never knew about you, only me… and he betrayed our parents to Lord Hackduvy. He really only wanted me and Dad to die, you see… he asked Lord Hackduvy to spare our mum, but Mum tried to protect me... so Lord Hackduvy killed her."

Bella was listening intently.

"And so… I was Lily Potter's son. And Snape was my professor at Hogwarts. How that man hated me… He hated that I looked like our father. Hated it. My hair, my glasses, my skill at Quidditch…"

Had someone told her about Quidditch? Because she didn't ask anything.

"But I was there when Snape died. And he told me to look into his eyes, right before he died. My eyes… they're the same color as our mum's. And he just wanted to see her eyes – _my_ eyes – as a reminder of her. Because really, he had always tried to protect me because of how much he loved our mother."

"Emerald," Bella said quietly. "Our mom's eyes. Emerald."

"That's a compliment," I grinned. "All I'm ever told is that they're green. But I never think to ask… dung-green, moss-green, lime-green, pea green, or what?"

Bella gave me a hug. Then she was somber again. "When is his funeral?"

Ginny walked in. "Girl-talk time, Harry. Go entertain Lily. Give her a bath."

I got up and left.

GinnyPOV

When I looked at Bella's face, I knew she was depressed. Not all of the girls whose boyfriends died were this dead with sadness after awhile, and a name popped into my head. A name that I hated.

But it was a name that could very possibly heal Bella.

After a quick conversation about what tea Bella wanted me to make her, I ran downstairs, quick-boiled some water, and ran to Harry, who was putting shampoo into Lily's tuft of hair.

"Cho Chang." I said to him. "I hate her, but she can help Bella."

Harry looked at me. "Are you sure? This is Cedric… Cedward… can a Cedward story help her?"

"If nothing else… if nothing else…" I said.

"You're a genius, though, Ginny," Harry said, rinsing Lily's hair. "Genius."

I would have said, "I try," laughed, and walked out of the room, but it was too sad a situation.

The next morning, I called Cho Chang. It was amazing that us, the wizards, used Muggle inventions to make our lives easier.

She picked up the phone. "Hello?" she chirped.

"Cho? It's Ginny."

"Ginny? Oh, hello," She was definitely surprised that I was calling her. We were supposed to be enemies.

"Er, Cho," I asked uncertainly, "Did you hear… about Jacob…"

"What about Jake? How is he doing?" Cho asked interestedly.

"Cho… Jacob's dead," I whispered.

"What? What are you talking about? I could have sworn you just said - "

"He's dead." I was crying now, tears running down my face. Did I _have _to say it? "Jacob is dead."

"Oh, Ginny… it's Christmas Day…" Cho wept. "No, no, he can't be - "

"He is."

Cho was crying. "Jake… poor Jacob… how did it happen?"

I was crying too. "He was turning into a werewolf – the full moon was early – and… he didn't want to hurt Bella… so… he killed himself." It was so hard to say; my throat tried to close halfway through.

"Ginny… did he love her?"

"Yes. And she loved him. She's been sitting in her room since last night. She has no appetite… she can't eat… Can't sleep, or think straight…"

"I'm coming," Cho said determinedly.


	15. Attempts

Chapter Fifteen: Attempting

BellaPOV

Something was squeezing my heart, choking it and strangling it. It was like a deep, cavernous emptiness inside of me. Why couldn't they save him? Why couldn't I save him? I would rather die with him than have to live with this emptiness inside of me that nothing I knew of could fill.

Jacob.

The name brought a fresh vat of tears to my eyes whenever I thought of his bubbly, happy attitude, his warm eyes, and his welcoming personality… he didn't deserve to die. Why? Please, please let it not be. Kill Cedward. Kill anyone. Not Jacob. Not my Jacob.

Jake was too special to die. It was a waste of talent, a waste of gifts, a waste of magic. It wasn't fair.

I looked outside. Everything was covered in a thin, perfect layer of snow.

I began to cry again. How could everything have been so perfect and screwed up in the same heartbeat? Jake's last heartbeat?

I yanked open the window and stepped out onto the flat part of the roof. I wanted to destroy this perfection…

I was cold, but I ignored it through the pain of my heart.

The whole first story was covered in snow up until the very top of the first-floor windows. And so, with my wanting to destroy perfection, the perfect snow, the morbid and wrong idea of everything being okay, I jumped from the roof.

"NO, BELLA!" someone's voice screamed as I landed. It hurt. Really bad, at first, but it was just a belly flop. I landed in the soft, unfair snow.

I stood with the surge of destruction flowing through me.

Destruction felt good. It filled the gap of my pain and heartache.

I took a young tree's trunk and shook it, the snow flying in all directions from its branches. I stomped, making angry footprints in the snow. I kicked snow with my bare feet, flinging ice into the air.

"Bella, no! You're freezing," Cedward came up to me.

"You're the last person I want to see," I said poisonously to him.

"Bella, I'm really - " he started.

"You're sorry, are you? Then maybe if you were _sorry_, you'd leave me alone!" I shouted viciously at him. "I loved Jacob! And he was _mine_, but he got taken away from me! Explain that. Explain that, Cedward Calligory!"

"I can't," he said. "Come inside and I'll tell you something that happened to me."

"I don't want your stories," I told him. "I don't want your fake sympathy. I don't want _you_. I wish you would die. Not Jacob."

Cedward's face was composed, but there was something in his eye that made him angry.

"Then go inside, Bella. You don't ever have to see me again."

"I don't believe that. The only way I'll never see you again is If. You. Die."

I slipped into the house. Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley, our only remaining guests that hadn't left because of all of the drama, were sitting at the breakfast table with coffee. Mrs. Weasley's eyes were brimmed with red.

"Bella, dear," she said, looking at me. "You're all wet… your toes are purple!" She stood quickly.

"Yeah, I'm taking care of that," I snapped and ran to my room. Her kind and concerned gaze followed me up the stairs.

When I opened the bathroom door, Alice sat on the closed toilet seat, her hands threaded in her hair and her head drooped down.

"Alice?" I asked slowly.

"Bella." she answered, lifting her head. She looked at me.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed. "You're cold."

"Oh." I thought about it. I _was_ cold. Freezing, in fact.

"Bath," she said, bending over the tub and turning it on, sending hot water into the huge bowl. (As I said before, it's the Potters. Their bathtub looks like a giant shell. It has four faucets, one for hot water, one for cold water, one for bubbles, one for scent).

Alice added bubbles and orange scent to the water and she left. I sat in the tub, warming up. There was a cushion on one side of the tub; I put my neck on it and I think I fell asleep for the first time since the train ride.

I dreamt of Jake. He was talking to me.

"Bella, don't be sad…" he was saying. I couldn't see his face.

"Jake?" I called out.

"Don't cry for me anymore, Bella…" he begged. "It makes me sad. I want you to be happy."

Then I woke up. Alice was setting some towels on the cabinet and she put a fat mystery novel on the side of the tub for me to read as I soaked.

"By the way, Bella…" she told me, "Merry Christmas."

"It's Christmas," I said. I looked at Alice. "I'm sorry," I told her. "I was planning to live here. Forever."

Alice nodded. "I know," she said. I didn't ask how.

"It was just for Jacob. But now… I've got nothing to live for," I told her.

Alice shook her head. "Be like a normal girl, Bella. Go to college, whichever one you could possibly want. Make money. Be a business typhoon."

"No, Alice. I'm not a normal girl. I was Jacob's girl."

"Bella, don't even start. Look at Cedward. He doesn't have any love. But look at him… he's happy."

"No, he's not, he's depressed and fat, Alice."

"Fine. Bad example."

I shooed her out as I cracked open the mystery novel, only to throw it out of the tub and start wailing for Jacob.

Maybe he wasn't dead. He couldn't be dead. Maybe, just maybe… it was all a conspiracy or something. Maybe they could take his body and… turn him into a vampire.

Yes!

"ALICE!" I screamed, getting out of the tub and wrapping myself in a king-sized, red fluffy towel. She swung open the door. "What, Bella?" she asked me.

"Alice. Can't you just… change him into a vampire? It could still work…"

Alice looked at me with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Bella. He was a werewolf. Vampire venom is poison to werewolves. One drop of it… and nothing will happen but eat away at him."

A fresh wave of tears sprung up. "He's dead. He's really, truly dead."

"Yes, Bella. He is."

"But I loved him."

"As he loved you."

"That's isn't fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"Shut up."

"Shutting."

I wrapped the towel around me, and slipped into my bathrobe, then to my room to change. Alice got there first, and while I was fishing around in my drawer, she emerged from the closet with a vivid red dress and an inverted - but matching green one.

"I'm not in the mood, Alice."

"That's too bad, Bella. Put this on. Now."

I sighed. The war had been lost before it was declared. I got dressed and slipped into the dress.

Alice looked me in the eye. "Now go out there with a new perspective," she told me. "There's someone here to see you." When my face lit up and I shouted, "Jake?" she shook her head. "Don't get your hopes up. It's someone else."

She shoved me out the door and walked behind me down the stairs.

"We are coming with a new perspective," she reminded me quietly as Ginny, Harry, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, all the children and Cho Chang stared at me.

And I walked with a new perspective. A new way of thinking, a new life, a new vision of how the world was.

I was walking a new person. I loved Jacob. Nothing would ever change that, but I didn't know what the future held, and no one else did. (Except for my conscience, that said Alice did know what the future held.) But I was going to emerge victorious after this.

No matter what anyone said, did, or expected, I was not going to forget my dignity. Jacob was dead, and so was a part of me. But that made a new part come. Maybe Jacob mended that piece of my heart in my dream.

And I was going to use that full heart until it gave out. By loving and being loved, and living.

Living.


	16. Melancholy

**I'm glad to get this story back on the road after 3 terms of hiatus. Sorry, guys, we've been working on some other stuff that's really neat and we got totally distracted. We're (me and verycrazytwilighter) are going to try to get this story finished soon, maybe with the help of Darlin24 but I have to ask her. (She wrote a lot of the other part). I know it said that it was completed, but we felt like it was missing something special. So here it is. **

**I do own: every Smashing Pumpkins album in existence, including their amazing straight-from-the-creative-brain-of-Billy-Corgan... Zeitgeist. I don't own: Twilight or Harry Potter.**

**And, so, from now on, this is Part II of Cedward Calligory and Bella Potter.**

**And I call it... Bella Potter and the Infinite Depression! (Just kidding. I'll rename it later once I don't have an aching back, a headache and an itching to play a Nirvana song, and when I do have an ounce of creativity to spare.)**

BPOV

Whenever I try to be happy, it feels like I'm putting on a mask and wearing someone else's face. I thought that I could be okay after all this. Maybe I could change and be somewhat happy.

I was wrong, so wrong.

I wish Jacob had just left so I could never see him again. At least then I would know he was alive. Then there would actually be some sort of _hope_, you know?

I was on the plane, coming back from London and the visit with my brother and his family. I tried not to remember their faces. Whenever I thought of a memory, it had something to do with Jake.

Diagon Alley. Me, sitting on a wooden crate next to George and Jake, chatting about when George was going to come for Christmas.

Jake being angry after I chose Cedward.

Cedward being angry after I chose Jake.

At a Hogwarts school play. Jake sitting there, eating all of Albus' extra food and laughing with me in between scenes.

Us all on that train, me crying so loud, Harry running to get the conductor, Jake wanting to jump out the window, Hermione telling him that he'd die if he jumped… Jake killing himself so as to protect me…

Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks in that first-class seat of the chilly plane. It was night outside of the controlled atmosphere of the plane, and everyone was oblivious to my suffering. Alice sat listening to her iPod, her feet propped up against the back of Cedward's chair, her eyes closed and head bobbing. Cedward reading a book. Rosalie filing her nails. Emmett intent on watching the Keanu Reeves movie that was playing planewide. Esme was reading a recipe book. Carlisle was reading a medical book.

And there was Jasper, sitting there looking at me.

"What?" I asked him with a stony glare. He shrugged and looked away, then closed his eyes.

I fought with all my might with the euphoria that spread over me.

Okay, I knew all my little vampire family members had powers, but I didn't know Jasper could control my feelings and emotions. And I felt really _happy_, but I know and still know real happiness when I feel it. But this wasn't real happiness. It was fake, and I sensed an intruder upon my sad excuse for a mind.

I got up to leave to use the bathroom, to get away from all these obliviously happy people. Alice got up. "Where are you going?" I asked her with poisonous words. "I'm helping you," she said. I snarled, "I don't need help to _go to the bathroom_, Alice. Go sit back down in that chair of yours with your little iPod and stupid little dress and _let me go_. NOW."

Alice took a step back. She looked hurt, really hurt. For some reason I gloried in this hurt, sad face.

I went into the bathroom and pulled the handle shut, changing the status to _OCCUPIED_. I sat by the tiny sink and looked into the mirror at myself.

I looked like crap. It was as if I hadn't slept in four days (which I hadn't). It looked like I had gone eyeliner crazy and then had a fit of tears. Okay, it was true, but the eyeliner-crazy part was thanks to Alice and the tears were mine – and Jake's – fault.

I wanted Jake back. I wanted him to be on this plane now, coming back to Forks with the rest of us, or me not on this plane and still in London with Jake. Either way, I wanted to be with Jake.

A timid knock sounded on the door. "What?" I hissed, putting my hands on my hips and making an angry face even though no one could see me.

"Bella, I'm sorry." It was Alice.

"Go away, Alice." I said.

A series of tiny footsteps faded away. Dang it. I felt defeated. Even though she listened to me, I wanted her to fight back and insist to come in so I could be mean to her.

Jacob Black, Jacob Black. Why did you die, Jake? Why did you leave me here alone and without anyone to love me? Why are you dead? Didn't you love me enough, Jacob?

I left the bathroom after wiping all the makeup off my face. I still looked sad, though, but I couldn't change that.

I went back to my seat. Alice gave me a sympathetic, guilty look. I ignored it, sat in my seat, stayed for a minute, then stood back up and walked over to Rosalie.

"Do you have a magazine? _Seventeen? Lucky?_" I asked her. She nodded and opened her bag, talking out a copy of _Entertainment Weekly_, then went back to filing her already-perfect nails that couldn't be filed: they were so diamond-solid.

I took the magazine back to my seat. _Entertainment Weekly _had been in the hands of Jacob so many times, one every week… he had loved American literature…

I cracked the spine and started reading, trying to get my mind off of things for the moment.

A while later the seatbelt light came on, and I buckled up. Shortly thereafter, the plane began to land, and I felt sick. The last time I had flown, I'd been fine, but this time it wasn't so great. Maybe it was the fact that my beloved was dead, with no doubt.

We got our luggage, then got into a taxi to take us home. It would be a two-hour drive, and I slept.

My dream was a memory. After Christmas Day, the day I had tried – really tried to get over the tragedy of the night before – I hadn't been allowed to go to Jacob's funeral. My real family thought I should go – my brother, my sister-in-law, even my extended family consisting of Ron and such… they all thought I should go. Alice, who thought it would be "destructive to my self-esteem" to let me go see Jake, dead, fueled the argument.

I had watched Jacob _die_. So I wasn't allowed to see him _dead_?

I wanted so much to go see my Jacob Black. To see him sleeping peacefully. To see him one last time.

So… I snuck out. I dressed in a black dress supplied by Alice's vast closet, and asked Emmett, of all people, to help me. I was really surprised he agreed (if not in a slightly stupid tone), and I already had a whole list of people to ask next as last resorts.

So Emmett drove me to the funeral site, just one minute away. It was at a cemetery, with an old war monument in front. I went through the little gate leading to the actual graves.

There was a group of people gathered at a far, far end of the cemetery. It was dark inside, but I saw them. I went over to them and spotted my real family, the Potters. My brother welcomed me.

Someone was giving a eulogy. "Jacob was by far the best student I ever taught…" some boring voice droned. I pushed through the small crowd and saw the coffin.

It was open. Jacob lay inside, wearing a set of dress robes that were all too common in this world of magic. The robes were white. There was a red rose in his pocket. I kept staring at him. He used to be, and now he was not.

He had given me his heart, and what was I supposed to do with it? He was dead now, and his heart still belonged to me.

I would never move on. Never, ever. Jacob Black had been my all in all, my all for one.

The eulogy stopped. I guess we were supposed to pay our tributes, because some old lady in a tall, pointy hat and weird glasses that had yelled at Jacob and his friend at the Hogwarts play put a flower on the body of my beloved.

I walked over to Jacob's body, sitting there in his coffin, resting like a stone, when I felt with regret for all the things that I'd done. I had been so cruel to Jacob at first so I could get in Cedward's head and make him jealous.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I placed a hand over Jacob's unbeating, dead heart, and a hand on his arm. I wanted him to be alive again. I squeezed my eyes shut.

This was all my fault.

I took his hand, squeezed it, then let go of it and ran. I ran through all of the people, back to Emmett's waiting car. I got in the passenger seat.

"Bella? You done? You know, Alice is going to cut me up into small pieces for this if she finds out… and then she'll eat those small pieces…" He shivered and tried to turn on the heater, but cold air blasted out. I sighed, a new wave of tears falling.

I woke with a start. We were back at the Cullens' house. I got out of the taxi. My dream was over.

What is it about getting home after a trip, after a vacation or something, and not feeling like you belong? Like you're a visitor in someone else's house, intruding on their life. All of their made beds and neat kitchens and unplugged lights… what is it about this that is so haunting?

I went up to my bedroom on the third story. I put my duffel bag down and sat on the floor, the thick, shaggy carpet comfortable. School started Monday. I had a homework packet to complete, and I was _so_ not starting it. It was going to stay in my book bag until it rotted. It gave me some sense of rationalization to just not do anything. I liked to just sit there and think about the days gone by, to dry my tears every once in a while. And maybe start a new flow of fresh, salty tears that burned against my cheeks.

Crying was good, too. It felt nice.

After an hour or so, a knock came at my door. My tears were dry and I had actually been thinking about something else other than my deceased. I got up to answer it and imagined Jacob's smile.

I opened the door. There stood Alice, displaying a fancy, shimmery dress, with a bright smile to match. "Do you want this?" she asked me.

I burst into tears. (This had been happening spontaneously these days.) I decided to make the most of it.

"Al-Al-Alice!" I whimpered, my throat feeling constricted. "Why a-a-are you d-d-d-doing this?" I choked, slamming the door in her face.

Aah, to take out my anger.

I took a pillow and screamed into it. But then my vampire family _came running_ to my rescue. I had forgotten their annoying acute sense of hearing.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Esme shrieked, arriving at the scene first. "Yeah," I said nonchalantly. She shrugged and gave me a kind smile, then left. Next was Alice.

"Go away, you pesky little brat. Go find someone else to torment." Oh, how I hope she took me up on my word after that departure.

All of the others arrived, and last, slowpoke Cedward came. He had been dieting, restricting himself only to small animals' blood, and his blood belly was gone.

"You got rid of your belly," I said. "Can I have some hot chocolate?" I added, hoping he wouldn't get it for me and just leave me alone.

But he did come back, and I was sitting on the top steps of the stairs. It gave me a feeling of being higher up than everyone else, and I liked feeling better just a little.

So Cedward came back with his cup of hot chocolate for me. "I didn't really mean for you to have to do that," I told him, looking at him with wide eyes. But my leg was out, and I kind of brought it forward maybe by accident or maybe Jacob possessed me to get revenge on Ceddy… but who knows? Well, Cedward went forward with the hot chocolate and _almost_ spilled it all over me.

"Hey," I told Cedward as I stood up and jerked the hot chocolate from his hands, "Do watch where you're going. I was about to be a boiled Bella there for a minute."

I went to my room. It still didn't feel like home. "This is my room," I said aloud to myself, trying to calm down. "This is my room, and I can do what I want with it… and I'm home."

But it didn't feel like home at all. It felt more like… I don't know. Maybe… like a houseful of savage vampires? Hmm. That sounded about right.

I went to my bed, drinking my hot chocolate down in a few swigs. It was just warm, not hot. And it was perfectly chocolate. It made me feel better a little. I had to remember to thank Cedward. He could be a real pain, but then again, he could be a real angel sometimes. I contrasted the feelings that I had right after Jacob's untimely death about Cedward to the ones now. He used to be like a vampire, cold and bloody and… with quite a blood belly. Now I felt like he could be my light to guide me through the darkness.

I fell asleep.

Red eyes stared hungrily at a figure standing on a hill with powdery shards of moonlight brushed across his face. The red eyes belonged to bald, unclothed creatures that were definitely inhuman. They looked fierce and had long fangs. They were skinny.

One creature whispered, "Blood," and soon all of the others joined in. "_Blood_," they chanted, "_Blood, blood,"_ and again, "_Blood! Blood! Blood!" _The lonely figure on the hill was shaking, cold and alone.

Jacob. He was the one on the hill. The creatures came closer and closer to Jacob, and as soon as one was about to bite my Jacob…

Ugh. What is it about dreams that scares you during them but just seem stupid and childish when you wake up?

"Bell Bella Bells!" Alice's voice chirped happily. "Wake up, sleepytoes, and greet the gorgeous cold snowy dark day!"

Hmm. Sounded like this day was very foretelling.

"Bella, you want breakfast?" Alice asked me, smiling largely. I imagined blacking out two or three teeth with some eyeshadow… maybe adding some pigtails and a farmer's outfit… Alice could be a farm girl.

Okay. Don't blame me for imagining weird stuff. When I'm tired, I'm annoyed. And when I'm annoyed, I can't think straight.

"Go away," I told Alice, giving her tiny frame a shove and pulling my blankets back over my head. She pulled them right back.

I guess I hadn't been crying during my sleep, so I had a lot of tears saved up in inventory. I let them go.

"Alice, it's a-a-a-all your f-f-f-f-fault!" I wailed, pulling the covers over my head again.

She left, gladly, and I got a few more hours of sleep.

Then, of all people, Rosalie came in.

"Bella, get up. Come on. You'll get fat, staying in your room all day. You'll be as fat as Cedward was when he was drinking too much blood," she told me.

I got up out of bed, then slumped on the floor. Rosalie sighed, grabbed my arm, and then pulled me up. She shoved a pair of jeans and a Pearl Jam T-shirt into my hands. I hate Pearl Jam with a passion, so I handed her the shirt back. She sighed and left the room, coming back with a pink one.

I pulled the shirt and jeans on, then I went down to the kitchen where I smelled something good, but I tried to ignore it. I hadn't eaten for twenty-four hours, and I caved. As much as I was nervous about eating Chef Cedward's omelets and drinking milk he put on the table, it was a really great breakfast.

"Cedward." I got his attention. He looked up from scrubbing a marble countertop with a wet sponge. "Mmhm?" he answered. "Thanks for the hot chocolate last night… and breakfast. It makes me feel better." He smiled. "Welcome, Bells."

Alice tried to cart me off to her room to do my nails, but I burst into tears again at the sight of her.

I was beginning to like this little game.

Rosalie ended up being the one entertaining me. "We're going shopping," she announced as she led me to the garage, unlocking her car.

I got in and buckled up. "I'm not in a bad mood, I promise," she huffed, revving the engine.

I held on for dear life anyway.

To make a short story shorter, Rosalie got to Bed, Bath and Beyond in eight minutes instead of the standard twenty. She led me inside, and she forced me to choose a color. I finally agreed on sea foam, which she was eager for me to pick, then she went around putting stuff in a cart.

Then, after she shocked me at the counter by bringing up a total of over five hundred dollars, we went to a hardware store where she bought me sea foam paint and a few sea sponges to make the walls' texture. Then, to make matters worse, I was brought to Ikea, where she found a whole bunch of stuff, like shelves and a cabinet and a surround-sound speaker system for my room. Also, of course, a huge TV I would never watch anything on and a laptop. _Another_ laptop.

Why must I be spoiled? I think they were trying to get me happy by way of material stuff – I'll tell you right now I didn't want any of it. I had a feeling that they were trying to make me feel better, but I had my heart set on being depressed. Jacob deserved someone to be depressed for his death.

If you're wondering how she fit all this in her car, I'll tell you she didn't. She hired a moving van – yes, a moving van – to take all of my stuff back to the house.

When we got back, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Alice and Cedward were in my room, already painting the walls, the moving van having arrived before we did. The sea foam color didn't look my style, but it was pretty enough.

By the end of the day, my room had changed. It looked great, but it really annoyed me. Its cute little sea foam color made me want to retch.

I was still in a horrible mood, though. I wanted to be in London with my family, my brother and my niece and nephews… and, as you already know, Jacob Black…

I fell asleep for the third time since leaving London.


	17. Cold Gravestone

**Here's Part II of Part II. Enjoy.**

**I don't own Twilight or Harry but I do own... uh... this story, and so does verycrazytwilighter.**

BPOV

Waking up at six o'clock in the morning is no easy feat. I set an alarm, but I turned it off promptly, swearing, and fell asleep again. For five minutes. Then the alarm went off again. Finally, I stood up, took the alarm clock and threw it on the floor, then crawled back into my warm, cozy bed. But then I realized I was no longer tired, so I got up.

I dressed in some of Jacob's clothes. One of his shirts and a jacket, and a pair of my jeans and my own Chucks. I ran to his grave and sat there awhile and cried, then came back feeling newly depressed, a pit in my stomach. I needed something, but I didn't know what it was or where to get it… or how to get it if it existed.

The week dragged by without much happiness or promise. On Friday, Harry woke me up at ten, saying, "Bella, your plane leaves in two hours."

That really got me motivated. I hurriedly got dressed in yet another of Jacob's old T-shirts, this one from when he was fifteen, and it fit me well. It was black and white with warped bodies and guitars and drum sets, plus a Kurt, a Krist, and a Dave. The shirt was from the album _Bleach_ by Nirvana. And it had Frances lyrics on the back. I loved the shirt. Loved it.

I tugged on some skinny jeans and a pair of my never-failing Chuck Taylors, and ran to the grave of my Jacob.

I sat on the grass covering his grave and placed my hands over where I thought his heart was six feet under. I thought about him decomposing, shook the thought from my mind then remembered that wizards preserved dead people perfectly. Not only by draining out their blood, but replacing everything with stuff, then using matte-mat or some other type of magic stuff to make them stay bonny, not bony.

I had a sick ache in my stomach for this goodbye. I was forever in debt for his price of goodbye, the price having been death. My debt… was my life. I could give my life up strictly for Jacob…

I told Jacob. I didn't know if he was listening, though that dream had been pretty realistic that I had on the first day I was there, but I told him.

"Jacob… I owe you," I said loudly and sincerely. "I owe you since you had to die. And now… since I owe you with my life, it's strictly yours."

A thought entered my mind that hadn't originated from my brain.

_NO! I don't want your life! Live it how you want to live it. No debt for you, my love._

My throat constricted in record time, resulting in a river of tears.

"Ahem."

I looked up. Harry stood there, a few rows back.

"Yeah?" I asked angrily and with scorn.

"Bella… come here."

I went over there.

"What? I was talking to _Jake._"

"Meet our parents," Harry said simply.

I looked down. It was definitely our parents' grave. With _Lily Potter _and _James Potter_ etched in the slab of stone, it was just that. Set in stone.

These people died for Harry. As Jacob had died for me.

I don't know why I wasn't as sad for them as I was for Jacob. Maybe because I knew him. Maybe Harry knew more about them than I did. But I cried anyway. I cried for Jake, I cried for my parents, I cried for Harry, I cried for myself. When the tears ran out, I ran out of the graveyard, through the kissing gate and back to the Potters'.

When I got my luggage into the car, Harry was already there, waiting although I had a head start. I didn't know you could Apparate into cars, as apparently it was possible.

We drove to the airport in stony silence. When Harry was dropping me off by the curb of the airport, my ticket and luggage in hand, I gave him a hug and whispered a thanks. "Tell Ginny and the kids thanks, too," I added. "Love you, brother."

"Next time, you're adopting an English accent," Harry laughed as he shut the door and rolled down the window. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Harry," I said, standing on the curb. He drove off, and I entered the airport.

I got on the right plane at the right time, and managed to ask for a cookie, which I was given. I ate it slowly as I watched a movie with Owen Wilson and two other guys that are famous… but I didn't know their names.

I was actually looking forward to getting off the plane when the movie ended, since a new one that was really boring came on.

When the plane landed, I reached for my luggage from the luggage compartment, then I got off the plane, awaiting my gorgeous family. I wondered how I had thought of them as horrible and now _gorgeous._

Whew, and was Jasper looking gorgeous! Just kidding. Really. Just kidding.

I stepped off the plane and went straight to Alice and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry," I said, a fresh wave of tears bursting from my eyes.

Why do I cry so much?

"It's okay," she said, smiling in her cute little elfin way.

Then I gave everyone else a hug, Cedward for last. "You look great," he said. "You're brighter."

I smiled. "Thanks."

The car ride home was pleasant, until the point where Rosalie started making comments about my shirt.

"Ew, Bella, you smell like that _dog_," she groaned.

"A _dog_?" I asked as Cedward pinched her. Hard.

"Yes, a dog," she said as if I were really stupid.

"Okay," I said, ignoring her as Alice shushed her.

She started again. "Bella, you are washing that as soon as we get home," she insisted.

"Listen, Rosalie. I'm sorry, but this particular shirt is not only perfectly fitting and I don't want it to shrink, but also it smells completely delightful, just like a certain werewolf named Jacob. And guess whose shirt it was? It's the only thing keeping my going! HIM!" I shouted… but didn't realize I was shouting until Rosalie cast her eyes down and Emmett's eyes got wide. And Jasper started concentrating on me.

I felt calmness spread over me. It felt real. Jasper was getting good at his mood changing. Too bad he couldn't make me permanently happy and Rosalie permanently nice.

I coughed. "Sorry."

Cedward patted my shoulder.

"By the way," he said, "I did all your homework while you were gone. So on Monday, turn it all in, and you'll get an A for everything."

"Really?" I asked. "You did all that?" Cheesy, I know. But… he was really starting to make me really happy.

"Yeah," he said. "Listen," he added as we pulled onto the highway. "A few friends from school are going ice skating tomorrow with us," he said. "I got together some of your friends, too. Want to come?"

"Who's coming?" I asked. Oh, please not Mike Newton. Please, _please_ not Mike Newton.

"Not Mike Newton," he said, chuckling. "I may not be able to read your mind, but you got pretty nervous there for a second," Cedward laughed.

I laughed too. "Okay, so who _is_ coming?"

"Uh… this kid named Jute, your friend Angela…"

"Angela's sweet. Who's Jute?"

"Jute is that kid you talked to the other day in last period the whole time a few days ago," Cedward explained.

"Um… Last name?"

"Kardon. Jute Kardon."

My heart skipped a beat. My gorgeous Kardon…

I stopped myself and felt my stomach flip. No, no, no. Not gorgeous Kardon or Jute or whoever… gorgeous _Jake_. No one else. Even if he said it was okay.

But I agreed to go.

Great. I've never gone ice-skating before.

The next morning, I got Alice to pick me out a decent outfit. I took one of Jake's shirts – another Dave Grohl shirt, Foo Fighters this time, and Alice shrunk it without detergent, so it still smelled like him, and fit me really well. She dressed me in a pair of skinnies and I insisted on my Converse, though she wanted me to wear wedges.

Then she did my makeup. I felt odd, sitting in that chair as she whirled me around. She even trimmed my hair, waxed my eyebrows and used five different layers of five different mascaras. Good thing I made sure she used waterproof.

We got to the ice skating rink at noon. It was mostly empty except for a few people that were practicing: little girls in tutus and sharp skates and guys in their hockey uniforms, giving off a don't-mess-with-me aura. Except when I looked at Emmett, these other guys looked like ants.

Kardon was waiting on a bench beside the skate rental booth. He was already holding a pair of skates. When he saw us, he waved and put his skates on.

We rented our skates and went over to talk to Kardon. We waited for Angela. She got there a minute later.

We were on the rink. I grabbed onto Emmett for support, but Rosalie whisked him away, so I grabbed onto Kardon's shoulder.

"Sorry," I told him, halfway smiling. "I've never been ice skating."

"That's okay," he said, taking one of my arms and holding me up. I tried moving my feet a little. I started to fall, but Kardon held me fast.

"Whoa," he said, pulling me back up. "Want to keep to the edge of the rink?"

"Sure," I nodded helplessly.

So I clung to the cage on the outside of the rink and slid around as Kardon skated perfectly beside me, not holding the rink. I felt jealous of Rosalie and Emmett, and Alice and Jasper whirling around like professionals in the middle of the rink.

"Where were you this week?" Kardon asked me as I dumbly scooted around on my skates.

"London with my brother's family," I told him.

"Your brother? But…" he started. "Another besides these?"

"Yes. Harry. He's my birth brother. I was adopted by the Cullens."

"Oh. Well, what did you do in London?"

"It's boring."

"Pray tell."

"Well," I sighed, falling down. Kardon caught me and guided me back up.

"Well, what?"

"I visited a grave," I admitted. "And mourned over – I sound like a spoiled brat."

"Do not. Mourned over… your dead boyfriend? Remember, you told me about this. I'm okay with you telling me. I enjoy it."

"_How_?" I asked, grinning. "I have a pretty sad life."

"It's interesting," Kardon nodded, smiling like Jacob in a Matt-Damonesque grin.

"I took some of his stuff with me," I said, displaying my shirt, "and I just slept by his grave."

"He must have been pretty special," he said as I took out the picture of us that Jake had had in his room.

"That's my Jacob," I said, letting go of the railing and trying my luck. I didn't fall, but skewed my legs in close to a split, then straightened out as Kardon studied the picture.

I guess it might have creeped Kardon out that he looked a lot… more than comfortably… like Jacob. Maybe it motivated him. I don't know.

Kardon took the picture and gave it back to me.

"Good picture," he said. There was nothing else to say.

We skated across the rink, but Kardon had to give me a lot of help. By the end, we were skating wherever with minimal help from him to me.

"Time to go!" Emmett boomed across the rink.

I skated over to Cedward. "Let's go eat," I suggested. "Okay," Cedward said. I loved having control over the helpless fiend.

We went out to eat at a nice Italian restaurant. The waiter was eyeing Rosalie as he brought us a bin of little buns that were really doughy and good and garlicky.

Kardon was seated next to me. We talked about Jake, when one of those thoughts that weren't from my head came… into my head.

_Bella, go for it. _

I think I was possessed when I started flirting with Kardon relentlessly. What scared me was that Kardon flirted right back.

"There's some sauce on your nose, Kardon."

"Where?"

"On your nose."

He wiped his nose. "Did I get it?"

"Nope."

He wiped it again, "Now's it gone?"

"Uh-uh."

"Is there really something on my nose?"

"Uh-uh."

By the end of the day, we decided to all go see a movie. Some new one that premiered at midnight. Angela had to go home to meet her parents' curfew, but Kardon didn't have one, and apparently it didn't matter if we all were out until who knows when, since I was eighteen and the rest of the Cullens were in their hundreds.

So I sat there in my comfy seat, waiting for the movie to start. It was pretty boring, and I must have fallen asleep because I awoke on Kardon's shoulder. The movie was still playing, so I decided to make the most of it… or maybe I was possessed to make the most of it.

I snuggled up to Kardon and inhaled. He smelled so good. Almost like Jake, maybe something a little different.

He thought I was still asleep. But I wasn't. I put my chin on his shoulder and exhaled. Then I breathed in, from nervousness, of course, and took the big step and quickly kissed his neck.

He turned his head and looked at me in, I guess, astonishment. I kissed him again, on the lips this time, and laughed. He kissed me back. Soon, Alice threw a piece of popcorn (which she had bought for show, I guess) at the back of my head.

"Get out of here," she told me. "I want to watch the movie. Brad's hot."

I didn't agree that Brad Pitt was hot, but we didn't need telling twice. We ran out into the hallway, where absolutely no one was. So we sat on one of the benches and just held each other in our arms.

"Did I creep you out?" I asked him, looking into his Jacoby eyes.

He laughed. "No. Just surprised me," he said simply. He was like Jacob, of few words. A listener, not a talker.

"I think I'm just dumb," I whispered as I gave him another kiss.

The movie ended late. Alice was the first out, and the first to cackle at the sight of me with my arms around Kardon's neck. Next was Emmett, who was in an annoying mood anyway, and he made a really bad comment, to which I responded with in… um… sign… language?

Kardon drove me home in his Land Rover, following Rosalie's car so he would know the way.

"What made you do it?" he asked me. "Just… kiss me like that all of a sudden."

"Because…" I said uneasily, "I am creeped out by this myself and I know you've already noticed it… you're just like him."

"Like Jake?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I don't mind. You actually remind me of the exact replica of this one girl that I had a crush on ever since she burst into tears in first period of the second semester. Of senior year."

"Really. And who is that?"

"You," he smiled.

"_Cheesy_," I whined, reaching over to give him a kiss.

We got back to the Cullen's a little after Rosalie, be it her fast driving or not. I took a bath, and then went to bed. I was exhausted from the movie, restaurant, and the thoughts of my new love. Kardon. Or Jute. Whatever.

Kardon sounded hotter, if it was me you were asking.

Because my Kardon reminded me of my little loup-garou, Jacob.

At breakfast, Alice was maddeningly loquacious. She would not stop talking. On the other hand, Cedward was quiet and taciturn.

"Hey Bella," Alice asked, "So… you're not depressed anymore, are you?"

I sighed. "I will be if you won't shut up," I told her.

I have always loved Sundays, because they're usually the sunniest days in Forks, but today was an exception.

Well, I didn't have to be depressed, now did I? I could be, but I would be wasting time I could have spent with Kardon.

I felt kind of bad that I was sort of breaking my promise to him, since I was in debt from him. He said that he didn't care if I dated…

Well, one little guy wouldn't do any harm.

After casually asking Esme for a car, which I knew I needed so I could go on dates without a chauffeur, I called Kardon.

He didn't answer. I tried not to freak out.

I got a text from him.

Sry. No more minutes. Unlmtd txt tho.

I silently cheered inside, then texted him back. I had never texted before, and everything was in full sentences.

Oh ok. That's fine. Want to go somewhere?

He texted back.

sure where?

I huffed.

I dunno. You choose.

I got a text a moment later.

Ok Ill pick u up in 20 min

"Yay!" I shouted, seeing the text.

Alice walked in. "So you're going rock climbing with Jute?"

"Rock climbing?" I asked. "That's where I'm going?"

"Yeah," Alice said, her forehead creasing. "Oops. I guess I wasn't supposed to say that. I hate ruining surprises."

"You do that a lot," I said, walking to my closet and grabbing some jeans and one of my own T-shirts, a solid yellow with a plunging neckline.

Then I thought again. "Alice, what will I wear there?" It was better to just ask her so I could spare all the time deciding on an outfit.

"Hmm… you're wearing a shirt just like that, only a little more modest. Just a little. And blue, yeah, the shirt's blue. And you're wearing those jeans," she told me, sitting on my bed. She added, "Kardon can't keep his eyes off of you."

I put on the jeans and looked at the shirt and tossed it over to my closet, where I walked and spotted the shirt she was talking about. I slipped it on, got my sneakers, put them on too, and then went downstairs. Alice got there first, having walked down while I was getting ready. She had her makeup bag.

"Alice, how long is this going to take?" I asked as she pulled me into a chair in front of her.

"Hmm… about a minute. I can make you look like a rock star in two, but impatient Bella…"

I laughed. "Go for the rock star look, Alice."

Two minutes later, my eyes looked great, as Alice promised, and Kardon knocked on the front door.

The car ride was just laughing and singing to old Beatles songs. I loved the Beatles, unlike my Jacob counterpart… the only thing we disagreed on.

The Beatles, of all things.

We parked in the lot and got out of the car. We paid for the rock climbing at the place, rock climbed awhile, then got back in his car. It was definitely not enjoyable at all.

In the car, I was appalled to see Kardon hand me a bottle.

"Beer?"

"I'm eighteen," I told him. "And you?"

"Nineteen, geez, Bella," he said. "It's okay. You don't have to drink any."

"And you aren't either," I stated.

"Sure you don't want any?" asked, starting to put it under his seat. "'Cause if not, I've got other stuff. You name it."

"No." I stated, crossing my arms. "You're driving me home. You can't drink. And I don't want to drink… or do any other drugs you have. Drugs are stupid, Kardon."

"I wasn't going to drink," he sighed. "I thought maybe _you_ wanted to drink."

"I don't."

"You sure?"

I didn't know, and then a split-second later I seized the bottle from his hand, popped it open, and chugged it so I didn't have to taste it.

Ewwwww. The taste came after. It was really gross. Why did people drink this stuff?

Why did _I_ drink that stuff?

Easy. For Kardon.

I started feeling woozy, and I think I fell asleep, and I woke up on a park bench feeling weird. The park was about four blocks from the Cullens' house.

Had Kardon dropped me off at a park bench, too embarrassed to take me home drunk?

I stood up and almost fell over. My head and stomach hurt so badly. I sat back on the bench.

I was relieved to see Cedward walking towards me, and when he saw me he ran to me.

"Hey, good-lookin'," I slurred when he was within what a human's earshot would be. Why did I say that?

"Bella," he said, his jaw set and teeth together, "What did he do to you?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I dunno," I gulped, answering truthfully and swallowing back the horrible taste in my mouth.

"Bella," he said scarily, bending down to pick my up, "What did he do? What are you on?"

"I just had a beer," I said. "Only one." I held up two fingers.

"Low alcohol tolerance," he said lowly. "Bella, you can't drink."

"I like…" – hiccup – "drinking," I said as Cedward scooped me into his arms and he carried me back to the house.

I brushed my teeth and took a bath. I felt horrible but light and weightless. I walked to Cedward's room and somehow I changed, I felt heavy instead of light and feathery.

Whew! It was just the day that I had no idea what was going on, now wasn't it? Not only my weight felt like it kept changing, but also because I woke up with Cedward stroking my hair as I stood inside the door, reaching for the handle. That's when all of my senses came – and so did a horrible headache.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered and picked me up and put me in my room, on my bed, then left, shutting the door with a click.

Exhausted, I fell asleep.

I had a very odd dream. It was a man singing, his shoulder-length hair over his face as he sang.

I knew who was singing.

Jacob.

I woke up. I think I'm dumb. Or maybe just happy.

I think I'm just happy.

I went downstairs, to the kitchen, and got some aspirin for the horrible headache I still had. I took a few pills and drank some coffee, and went to the couch to take a nap.

When I woke up, I was groggy but otherwise fine.

That was just it.

I was fine.

For then.

Monday morning was tiring for me. I got dressed and had Alice do my makeup, and then I brushed my teeth. Cedward had made me a breakfast, so I ate some of it since I felt horrible sick and really didn't feel like eating.

Alice drove me to school and dropped me off. I was to fend for myself alone that day, since all the Cullens were going hunting.

I got out of the car and went to first period, sitting like a stone at my sorry excuse for a desk.

I was the first one in class, and when everyone else began filing in, someone put a hand on my shoulder.

"Bells," Jacob's voice said. I looked up, startled, and sighed. It was just Kardon.

"Hi," I said. "Would you mind explaining what happened to me the other day?"

Kardon looked down. "Bells… I'm sorry. Listen, I've given up dealing - "

"Dealing what?" I asked, standing up out of my seat.

"Drugs," he said.

I shrieked, "What in the – you're _nothing_ like him! Jacob would _never_ get me drunk or high and do who knows what and drop me off on a _park bench_!"

I ignored the fact that the whole class, including the teacher, looked up, hearing everything as soon as I got to _park bench_.

Kardon shook his head. "Bella, please - " he started.

I looked at the teacher, said, "Sorry," and walked out of the classroom with my bags.

Kardon followed me.

"Bella, wait."

He caught up to me and grabbed my arm.

I whipped around and dropped my books to slap him.

He gripped his cheek with a look of surprise on his Jake face. I felt so guilty, those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes with so much pain and guilt in them…

I regretted it, and softened as he picked up my books and handed them to me. I took them with a nod of nervous, unsure thanks, with a bite of my lip.

"Kardon, please. Just – tell me," I asked him, holding onto a side of his jacket.

"Bella," he said once and took my by the arm. We walked out of the school doors. "You were just so drunk, so I drank too, and I don't know."

"So you don't know why you dropped me off on a park bench?" I asked him assertively.

He shook his head as we went to his Land Rover. I got in the passenger side without thinking.

He stepped casually into the drivers seat and licked his lips, then put Chapstick on his dry lips. He put the key into the ignition and turned it. The heater turned on.

He took my hand and looked into my eyes. "Bella," he said, "I really do love you. You know, I… I'm pretty jealous of that Jacob guy. He seems too good to be true."

I crookedly smiled. "Except… Jacob hated the Beatles," I said and leaned over to kiss Kardon. I was so stupid, and I knew every atom of that. I knew how dumb I was, but it didn't stop me from Kardon.

Jute Kardon.

Kardon drove be back to the house awhile later. I went inside and threw up in the sink. I felt so, so, so sick. Guilt. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

Kardon stayed there with me and made me chicken noodle soup, bringing it in to the parlor where I sat on a couch with a down blanket and some strong tea.

"Good thing you didn't throw up earlier," he said, setting the bowl of soup on a TV tray in front of me.

I feebly grinned and ate my soup – well, drank it. Solids wouldn't stay down.

Neither could liquids, I learned as I threw up my soup.

Kardon left a few minutes later, leaving me alone in the big Cullen mansion.

But not for long; since the Cullens came back ten minutes later.

Alice spotted me first and looked at me on the couch, then closed her eyes tightly.

"Bella," she said, opening them, telling me in a shaky voice, "What did you do today?"

I bit my lip. "Um… just, sick…"

Emmett came in. "Uh-uh," he said. "Bella brought a boy home." He sniffed the air.

I sighed and dry-heaved.

"What did you skip school for?" Alice asked.

"Fine," I said. "Kardon knew I was feeling sick, so he took me back here and we just ate soup together," I lied.

Alice shook her head. "Bella, I know you're lying," she said. "You were with him."

"Yeah, he was _here_, he made me _soup_…"

Cedward walked in. Oh, crap, crap, crap…

"Bella?" he asked. "Tell _me_. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, everyone, leave the room. Now."

"Won't do much good," I said, "provided that they can hear anything in a half-mile radius," I grumbled and heaved nothing again. Nothing left to heave.

"Two miles," Jasper corrected. Cedward gave him a glare.

"Tell, me, Bella," Cedward said, scooping me off the couch and carrying me up to my room.

"Everyone, leave. Go eat more," he said. "Bella doesn't want you to hear this."

I sat comfortably in my snuggly bed, with Cedward in a chair beside it a minute later. He stroked my head.

"Can you tell me, Bella?" he asked.

I nodded and told him the whole story; what had happened before I was dropped off at the park bench, what had happened with Kardon a few hours ago… which was embarrassing. For me to tell Cedward, who looked truly sad at what he learned about me.

I told him secrets, that I had been planning to carry under the ground with me, about Jacob and I. Everything that had gone on in London with Jacob, while he was still alive.

Cedward forgave me on the spot, and I realized I didn't _want_ Kardon. He wasn't as good as Jacob had been, as nice. Jacob had been gentle in his manner and tone, and Kardon was different. Not as kind and tender and controlled.

I curled up in my blanket and cried, Cedward there to soothe me. He slicked back my hair from my forehead.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed a hug. I sat up, took Cedward's shoulders, and squeezed them.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't know…"

He gulped a bit, smelling my blood? I smiled in spite of my sadness.

"Is it appealing?" I asked, half-asleep. He nodded. I laughed. I didn't know why, though.

He left the room.

"No!" I called after him. "No, Cedward, come back… I... I, uh... I need you still…"

He came back in with a smile, and I made him sit beside me and put a cold dishtowel on my forehead.

**I will love you if you review, we want to know what you think. **


	18. Jumping Rock Tries Our Souls

_**Hey again, you. Tell us what you think. Do you guys want a showdown where Ceddie totally owns Kardon? Yeah, that's probably writer's block waiting to happen...**_

_**Well, review please, if you would be so kind. Except read this chapter first. 'Cause if you review and say you like our story before reading this chapter, you could end up hating this chapter for all we know, and you can't delete it...**_

**_I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight. Neither does verycrazytwilighter. However, I do own the rights to do away with Matilda, plus a plastic green butcher knife that I took to school and had people run around with it and threaten Lord Hackduvy and Vladimir. And verycrazytwilighter? She owns a pair of pink glasses. She's a pretty cool cat._**

**_Cool thing sittin' with the kiddies..._**

_**Enjoy. Hopefully. **_

Cedward POV

I really had been trying to make Bella feel better. Making her food and hot chocolate and being nice… it was totally against my nature. I was so angry that Bella was depressed over _Jacob_, not _me_. I almost wished he was still alive so she wouldn't be depressed.

But seeing her happy with Jacob was probably just as bad as seeing her sad without him.

I've discovered something called the Tidal Model. It's a nursing technique, but I think I've got it right for Bella's circumstances. What you have to do is heal the patient _with_ them, not _for_ them. It's kind of like Alcoholics Anonymous. They help themselves, with the help of others.

Bella needs to help herself, and stop feeling like she's worthless.

Because she's worth something to me.

Bella POV

Ugh. I really hate Mondays, I really, really do. They're like the wretched thing that you know is coming, the first day of the week. It's a horrible beginning, and if you ask me, I'm sometimes glad that it isn't always the same horribleness for the rest of the week.

But I'm not so sure about this week. I think the whole week will be like a long row of Mondays.

Well, as soon as I got rid of the rest of my self-esteem from my short supply that was left and decided I looked like crap, Alice came prancing in. I had just gotten rid of my last few tears crying for Jacob as I did every few minutes, so I couldn't play our little game. She seemed pleased that I didn't burst into tears at the sight of her, so she took it as permission to beautify me for school.

By the end of her ten minutes of playing stylist, I didn't look hopeless.

Although I didn't look it, I felt it. Hopelessness was flooded through my brain.

Sometimes, when I caught a glimpse of Jasper, I felt happier. I knew it was his power doing this – I could tell real elation from fake happiness.

Riding in Rosalie's car on the way to school, I felt like piranhas were surrounding me, their sharp teeth threatening me with excited snaps.

It wasn't that much different from school. A lot of kids were staring at us Cullens – except that my last name was still Potter – as they usually did. But they had odd, evil looks in their eyes, at least to me. The rest of them acted normal… at least what was normal for vampires.

I went to my first class. I remembered wanting Jacob to come to school with me, or me staying in England with him and the rest of my real family. I wished I wasn't an orphan so I could have a place, and then, when I did have a place with the Cullens, it changed to the Potters… and then, oddly like a tablecloth pulled out from a table, back to the Cullens.

Forks High School is a really unfortunate place. I really never knew how much I hated it until I was sitting in first period of a Monday morning, as the teacher was calling roll.

"Kardon."

"Here." Ooh. A new kid. Cute.

I almost hit myself. _Jacob Black_ was cute. _Jacob Black_. Not New Kid.

"Mkay. Uh… Newton."

"Here." I had really forgotten how creepy Mike Newton was.

"Potter."

"Here," I said, doodling in my notebook.

The teacher called the rest of the roll.

"Okay, we've got new students," he said boredly. "Uh… Kardon… do you want to come up and tell us about yourself?"

Kardon looked nervous. I wondered what his first name was. "Um… no?"

Whew. Mistake. The teacher looked mad.

I closed my eyes and made a quick decision. I thought, _Jacob? Do you mind… if maybe… I can have a crush on this kid? Please? He reminds me of you…_

I think I imagined it, but the thought came back: _Have fun, Bella. As long as it's not Cedward._

Yes! I was allowed to have a crush! I immediately forgot my promise to myself that I wouldn't like anyone but Jacob Black, and only Jacob Black.

But this kid, Kardon, sitting in his chair, looking at the teacher with a defiant if not nervous gaze, not wanting to get up in front of the class and chat about himself like a nerd… was a lot like Jacob. He didn't have a belly (and had no trace of one, unlike Cedward, those scars of his fat past self would never, ever heal with time, unless he lived forever as he probably would) and he had dark hair, dark eyes, and perfectly tan skin.

But then I saw Jacob's face on him, his features so much like that of Jacob's… my Jacob Black, poor, poor Jake… Fresh tears spewed out of my eyes, right there in the middle of class.

_Crap_. Everyone looked at me. I grabbed my bag. "If you need to leave, Bella, you can go," the teacher said. I had a feeling he said it just to make himself feel as if he had authority over his students.

I went out in the hall for a few minutes. I walked up and down it, wiping my eyes on my sleeve.

I saw out of my peripheral vision, Rosalie in the hall with Emmett. They were married, and everyone knew it, and they each gave an excuse that they were eighteen. Rosalie had been "adopted" by the Cullens, then Emmett married her and moved in. Or so the publicized story said. The actual story was that they were both really old and got married. And they were way too old to be in high school. But I think Rosalie liked feeling cool around everyone at school, even if everyone else was human.

I walked up to Rosalie. "_Bella_," she sighed. "Shouldn't you be in class? It's the first day of the new semester…" I looked at Rosalie. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

She rolled her eyes, then took out her makeup bag.

Great. Another makeover.

She did my eyes for me to look like I hadn't been crying, then she escorted me back to class.

I went in and sat down, whispering an apology to the teacher on my way past.

At the end of class, the teacher asked me to stay after.

"What was wrong, Bella?" he asked me. I wanted to lie, I really did, but I couldn't think of one quickly enough. "Um… well, you see…" I stumbled. "Well, that is… Um… it's really bad… My boyfriend… he died over winter break…"

I wasn't really sure if the teacher really believed me or not, but I was dismissed and I rushed to Spanish.

Fortunately the teacher didn't have to take a long, boring roll at the beginning of class since my school only took it at the very beginning of school, so we got right to work. It was really boring, the teacher going over everything we were going to learn that year…

The rest of the day flew by until the last class. The clock heated the urgency to get out of school, and I was watching it closely, until I realized I was seated right next to Kardon.

Whew! I was surprised I had missed the hottie next to me.

The teacher was really preoccupied the whole class, and we all noticed she was huge and pregnant. I think that she should have gone on maternity leave already, but she was sitting there with her huge stomach, knowing she could go into labor any moment.

So the whole class we didn't really have to do anything. I sat doodling for a while, forgetting about Kardon seated next to me.

"You were crying in Biology," he commented.

"Sometimes it spontaneously happens when I want to get out of a really stupid class," I said.

He looked at me weird. "You did that just to get out of class?" he asked. I grinned and shook my head. "No. I was joking."

"Who died?" he asked me. "How did you know?" I asked seriously and worriedly, lowering my voice.

"Oh my God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," he said, mortified. "I was being sarcastic."

"Oh… then, um…" I mumbled.

"You don't have to talk about it," he said. "Unless you want to."

"Mind if I vent?" I asked.

"Go ahead."

I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but everything spilled out. Everything about Jacob and my family (minus the vampire and werewolf and wizard stuff). Kardon was just so easy to talk to, like Jacob.

Sooner than I had known it, class was over. The bell rang. The afternoon announcements kicked in.

I walked out of the classroom door with the rest of the class, heading to Rosalie's car. She wasn't there yet. I took my copy of the key and hopped in the passenger seat, keeping the convertible top closed since it was so snowy and cold.

Kardon saw me sitting in the car. He walked over. I opened the window.

"Wow," he said. "Whose car is this?"

"My sister's," I said, referring to Rosalie. "Oh," he said, kind of pleased. Maybe that he was happy that it wasn't a boyfriend's?

He walked away after a few seconds of looking at the car and went to a Land Rover. I wondered how anyone could afford a Land Rover in Forks without being a Cullen.

I went home that night floating on air. I really liked this Kardon.

I didn't know his first name, and that was tomorrow's mission. But Kardon was a pretty cool last name, anyway, even if it sounded like the name of Harman/Kardon speakers.

For dinner, Esme had make a really good pork roast, complete with potatoes, carrots and onions. It was really good. Cedward looked angry, though. Every time I thought about Kardon or Jacob, or how much I liked either of them, Jasper would know from his power of being able to read emotions. Then Cedward would read Jasper's mind with his power, then he would therefore get mad and shoot dagger eyes at Jasper.

I went to bed with a fresh wave of sadness for Jacob and guilt about Kardon. My heart would like to heal. I'm really only half the girl I used to be.

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage. I still believe I can't be saved from this depression, hurt, and Jacoblessness.

That morning I went on the AirTran website and found a ticket back to London, on-sale for eighty dollars.

I bought it.

The week went by so slowly. I talked to Kardon more and more every day, with more guilt piling up every day. On Friday, I was in my room, emailing my brother Harry on my laptop, on my bare bed. The sheets and blankets were gone, probably taken away by Esme for washing.

_Dear Harry, _I wrote,

_I am coming back to London. I can't stand it here without Jacob. I don't know how I ever lived without him. I don't want to be a burden, but I really need to be there. At least around where he _was.

_I don't know if this is proper British etiquette, but I have to come. I'll be there on Sunday._

_Love,_

_Bella_

_P.S. Tell the kids hi._

I clicked send, and suddenly warm textiles were dumped over me by Cedward, fresh out of the dryer. They were comfortable, and I closed my laptop lid.

"Thanks," I laughed, burrowing deep into this pile. I fell asleep in the pile.

The next day, Saturday, I packed my bags, throwing all of my belongings that I had been dumb to forget the last time I left. I took my laptop, too, just in case I needed it.

I was eighteen. And I was leaving.

I stole a bag of makeup from Alice since I didn't own any that was just mine, and, oddly, I stole a few dresses from her. She had a lot of stuff and she would probably never notice, but it would be difficult getting past her power of being able to tell the future.

So I got in the taxi, shoving all of my stuff in the trunk.

At the airport, I managed to get on the plane.

On the plane, I managed to survive boredom.

Getting off the plane, I didn't manage not to trip.

I walked down the steps, seeing my family at once at the receiving gate. They were all there.

Oh, it was déjà vu. Except without Jacob standing there, making me think, "Wow." Yes, I remember exactly what I thought when I first saw him. "Wow" didn't seem cheesy to me. It seemed, and was, sincere.

I had been what I had been. Young and impressionable.

Not strong like Jacob.

Not strong enough to die.

Not strong enough to commit suicide to end the potential danger I could be to someone.

He was so strong; not only in what he did but in the whole idea of Jacob Black. His features were strong and muscular, not to mention irresistibly attractive. Jacob had what you could call ruddy good looks. I had never known how to use that phrase until I met Jacob. His perfectly rounded, yet square jaw line and high, defined and sharp yet soft cheekbones… he made me want to cry, he was so handsome.

So cry I did.

I walked to my family, the one that really loved me, and they looked at me. Ginny smiled at me with kind eyes, and the children called out for me and reached for my arms. Lily looked at me through her baby eyes as if to say, "I didn't forget you yet."

And my brother stood there, looking at me with tears in his eyes. I must have really looked like I had been down a pretty rough path, missed a shortcut and came back again.

I gave Harry a hug. "Hi," I whispered to him. He was a good brother. He had better let me stay forever. Next I gave Ginny a hug, then all of the kids.

We drove back to the house in semi-silence. Harry switched on the radio, but it must have been depresso day, because all that was on the radio was slow songs.

Harry switched the radio off suddenly.

"Bella," he started, "Why did you want to come here?" he asked as he made a turn.

"You haven't ever been to my house, or my school… News flash, Harry, Britain's a lot more relaxing to be in than America sometimes. I doubt you've ever stepped foot in a Washington public school. Have you?"

"I haven't," he admitted.

"Exactly," I sighed. "The kids… horrible. Girls hitting on my brothers… constantly. And one particular disgusting acne – face guy Mike won't leave me alone. And then for the teachers. Filthy. The bathroom doors with writing on them."

"Bathroom doors with _writing_ on them?" Ginny asked me.

"Yeah. Sometimes girls write all their problems on there. Like this one that had a fling with a guy during the summer and came back to school and he has over her. That one's true, by the way, totally Grease-esque. Then they ask for advice and other girls give them advice. Or sometimes they write fantasy stories for other girls to read as they're a-sitting. Pretty disturbing."

Ginny nodded.

Harry sighed. "Bella, you have to get over him at one point or another."

"What if I'm not here for him?" I cried. "What if I'm here to get away from _them_?"

"Bella… I know you're not," Harry said surely.

"Harry, I _am_ here to get away."

"From reality."

"This _is_ reality. You're my _family_."

"So? So are they."

I fake-grinned. "You're telling me that my _family _wouldn't let me go to his funeral?"

"Bella," Harry sighed, "You did go to his funeral."

"I was late, and they didn't want me to. I had to hire Emmett to help me escape," I said.

Harry laughed. "Bella, you think that that wasn't _planned_? Alice knew you were going to go anyway, she even knows you are here right now."

I sighed. How stupid I had been! I had forgotten Alice could tell the future. Stupid me.

"You can stay for a week," Harry said as we pulled in the driveway. Amid the children's protests, he added, "I've already bought your ticket back."

I got out of the car and took my luggage up to my old room. I unpacked robotically, then started walking.

I walked out the door and across the street, then down the street for about a quarter mile and found myself at the graveyard. Godric's Hollow graveyard.

I went past the old war statue and through the kissing gate. I walked through the graveyard. It smelled like dirt. I walked to the very back, where the newest burials were, and it took me at least five minutes to walk all the way to the back. The place was huge.

I made my way to a certain gravestone. When I saw it, I sank to my knees and traced my fingers over the lettering _Jacob Theodore Black – a great son, brother and love. Rest in peace._

My eyes were rivers without dams. Tears flowed down my cheeks and fell onto the dirt that covered Jacob's coffin.

I whispered to him.

"_Jacob,_" I said, sitting now, my hands around my knees as I cried, "I love you… and I wanted you to be with me forever… but you're dead. You're dead."

My throat closed up.

"You're dead… _No! Please, Jacob! Please!_" I begged him not to be dead. "PLEASE!" I wailed, rocking back and forth.

I caught my breath and sat next to the tombstone. I rested my head on it and fell asleep from the plane ride and ride home.

I woke up suddenly. It was pitch-black, no light coming through the windows. I sensed something. Someone was here.

Big arms surrounded me and squeezed me tightly. They were warm and familiar. I breathed in the scent; my Jacob's scent. It was musky and smelled… like _him_. No cologne or Axe or anything fake that guys use to try to make themselves appeal to girls… but it's this that really is appealing. It's real Jacob.

"Jacob!" I whispered, gripping him tightly. I couldn't see him, but he was rocking me gently in his hug. "I love you, Bella," he said in a husky tone. I knew his voice; I loved it and cherished it; his warm lips pressed against mine. I stood up from my napping spot by his tombstone and tightened my arms around Jacob. He put a hand on my head and smoothed down my hair, feeling its softness. He took a strand and breathed in the scent.

"I'm sorry," he told me. "I was going to be so happy with you," he said. "Bella," he added, "I was going to ask to marry you."

"And I was going to say yes," I breathed. "You're a ghost?"

Jacob chuckled in the darkness. Oh, that laugh! I remembered it, but not this well!

"I am a figment of your imagination," he said. "I made you have a dream about me. Don't freak out; it's still me. But when you dream, from now on it will be about me."

"How?" Me-in-the-dream whispered.

"I'm magic," he said. "Don't you remember?"

I sat down again, dragging him down too. I used him as a pillow as we talked.

"Bella," he said. "Yeah?" I answered.

"You can date other guys," he said casually.

"No, I can't," I huffed.

"That Kardon kid looks like me a lot," Jacob added nonchalantly.

"How do you - " I started. Jacob chuckled again. "I'm magic," he said for the second time.

"I've noticed."

My little quip bought me another laugh. I was proud.

"Will I remember this?" I asked.

"Vividly, my Bell."

"Are you sure?"

"I will make sure of it," Jacob assured me as he gave me another kiss with those gorgeous lips.

"No!" I shouted. "No! What if… what if I pretend that it's you I'm dating, if I were to date Kardon and tell him not to freak out if I called him Jake…"

"Realize what you're saying, love," Jacob chuckled. He kissed me, then told me, "You're about to wake up. Go back to Forks. You're destiny is there."

"Jake," I said. "My destiny is _here._"

I woke up. It was bright outside. I thought, _Maybe I'm dumb. Stupid for thinking it was real._ Then I thought again, with a small smile, _I think I'm just happy._

I hugged the freezing gravestone and walked back to the Potters'.

I made dinner for everyone. Spaghetti Bolognese was something I learned to make the last time I was there, and everyone liked it, so I made it again with garlic bread and steamed carrots. Ginny looked at me like I was insane when I made the big dinner and called everyone to eat.

After dinner, and after Ginny had finished washing the dishes with a flourish of her wand, she asked me, "What's up? You were so depressed earlier."

I cast down my eyes. "I'm still sad," I said.

"Where did you go?" she asked me again, resting a hand on the counter as she got out a bottle of wine from the cabinet.

"To the graveyard to see him," I admitted.

"Oh." Ginny said. "You were there awhile."

"I fell asleep on his gravestone," I said truthfully as Ginny poured a glass of wine and offered me some, which I turned down.

"Really?" she said, taking a sip.

"He appeared to me in a dream," I added. I wished I hadn't added it right after I said it. Ginny looked at me oddly, an eyebrow raised.

"What did he say?" she asked, draining the rest of her wine.

"That he loved me… it was really so real… He said I could date… and I said I wouldn't…"

"Bella, you have to understand… it is possible that it was really him, but..."

I shook my head, smiling a little. "I know it wasn't him," I assured her. "I just felt stupid and happy."

"Happiness is stupidity, and stupidity is happiness," Ginny sighed, rinsing out her wineglass under the tap.

I went upstairs, took a shower, and went back to my room that I had slept in before. It was comfortable.

I fell asleep, without a dream. It's only fair. I took what I needed from him: love. So I'm forever in debt for his price of goodbye.

I awoke to James and Albus jumping on my bed.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! Wake up! We has something to show you!" James shrieked. Albus said, "Yeah, Belly! We has something!"

I forced myself out of bed and carried one kid under each arm. "Where to?" I asked.

"Kitchen," Albus squeaked in his adorable accent.

I carried them to the kitchen, where a bowl of cereal sat, with milk spilled all around it, with a teaspoon in the bowl, sunk to the bottom. An empty glass sat in a puddle of pumpkin juice.

"Aw," I said, smiling, "You guys made me breakfast!"

James nodded up and down with a huge smile.

"Thank you!" I said, and ate the cereal. Then, I cleaned up their mess.

"And what do you two want for breakfast?" I asked.

"Belgian waffles," Harry said, coming down the stairs.

I grinned. "One Belgian waffle order for the lazy brother," I said, getting out the flour.

After breakfast, I helped Ginny clean. She let me try to use her wand, but it didn't work. I shouted spell after spell and nothing happened. It was very disappointing.

Then, I went to the room over the garage. It was Jacob's.

It smelled like him in his room. His clothing was hung up neatly in his closet. A picture of us sat on the dresser that we had taken together.

I took out a jacket and wrapped up in it. It was a little big, but it was warm, comfortable, and smelled like the best thing in the world.

I looked through all of his stuff. I took some of his unisex band T-shirts, and I knew Harry and Ginny wouldn't care.

I put on one of his Foo Fighters shirts with Dave Grohl on the front, and then put on the jacket. I smelled so good.

I went back to my room and fell asleep with the delicious smell of him.

It's times like these that try my soul, but in these times I can learn to live again. In times like these I learn to love again. Maybe.

_**I'm a negative creep. Well, aside from that, I'd like you to review so I can know what the heck I am doing wrong. Go on, my honest friend. No, that goes in the garbage, and you're only supposed to use it once in the first place! Step away from Perry Ellis, he's got a broom and some silk. Dodge those two pieces of wood turned sideways, now attach them to that kid's skull with common wood screws... Walk around and look up, a child would like to do it... OMG your mouse is over the review button! Click it and type us out some critique. **_


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